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We Have Too Many Freaking Toys!

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Squeak. Roll. Crash. 

box of toys

Christina Montoya Fiedler: I thought this only happened in movies, but there I was, flying through the air, in my bathrobe, as I tripped and fell, landing squarely on my butt (which thank god has some extra cushion) -- thanks to an oversized Tonka truck that was left by my son right in the middle of the hallway. Did I mention this happened at 6 AM on my bleary-eyed walk to the coffee maker?

Since when did I start living in a Toys "R" Us, rather than a two-bedroom Los Angeles apartment?

We are swimming in toys. It's hard to pinpoint when mass migration of toys to our tiny apartment started. It's as if they multiply when we are asleep. Could this be? Especially on the stuffed animal front. His bunny foo-foo did seem to be getting a little handsy with teddy last night.

Mind you, most of these toys seem to make NOISE, and lots of it. Our friends, sans kids, seem to get us the loudest ones. Thanks, guys. Super funny. Just wait until you have kids. Revenge is sweet. My son has a particularly loud toy which plays kid versions of pop favorites. Just yesterday, I was one "Wide Open Spaces" (by the Dixie Chicks) away from a nervous breakdown. And then there is the infamous Alex the Lion doll from "Madagascar" that screams "Hi, I'm Alex, the Alex," seemingly over and over again. Well, not seemingly, it really is over and over and over again.  I once heard my husband say it in his sleep. Seriously, that's how many times we hear it a day. It's invading his psyche.

And that Elmo that counts to ten and knows his alphabet. What a pretentious jerk.

If anyone needs me, I'll be in my closet hiding from the toys.



next: Beware of Craigslist Crazies
21 comments so far | Post a comment now
Nicki February 2, 2010, 10:23 AM

Do you also have those toys that mysteriously start talking when you walk past or when they are just sitting there? It’s like they are possessed. I think my husband would agree with you; we also have too many toys.

Cathy February 2, 2010, 1:49 PM

My son had a push choochoo engine that samg the alphabet and songs etc….not motion activated at all.you have to phusically push a button for it to sing. But at 3 or 4 it would go off for no reason. After a week i drove to goodwill near the back and dropped it off at donation area. I didnt even go in. Dropped it off and left.

Leslie Elliott February 2, 2010, 3:46 PM

I feel your pain, Christina, both literally and figuratively! i have been known to leave many of the noise-making toys battery-less for a time, and also was nearly driven mad by the “it’s a small world” musical potty seat that played for 2 hours straight the other night…i tip-toed into the bathroom after that, for fear of setting it off again! :) thanks for the laugh, and for sharing your writing talent!

Chrystal @ Happy Mothering February 5, 2010, 12:30 PM

I feel you! I don’t know where all of my daughter’s toys came from. It seems like there’s a never-ending flood of toys all throughout our apartment. One of us is always tripping over something. As soon as I pick them all up, I feel like they’re right back where they were when I started!

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