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10 Worst Ways to Say I Love You on V-Day

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Romantic misfires roundup.

Love means never having to say you're sorry --  if you refrain from giving any of these crummy Valentine's Day gifts, that is.

10 Worst Ways to Say I Love You

Husband / Wife Arm Pillow

Here's a gift that says to your partner, "Yes, I love you, but I prefer to spend my nights elsewhere."

Avaliable at: probargainhunter

Male Lingerie

As embarrassed as you are to wear those glow-in-the-dark pasties and G-string gift set from your guy, imagine how HE feels being guilted into trying on these "wear your heart on his crotch" boxers.

Available at: wacky planet.

Box o' Wine

A box of wine, a loaf of bread and thou ...
Yep, nothing says "classy" like a cardboard box filled with vino. If you really want to make an impression, serve in mismatched coffee mugs!

Available everywhere!

Heart-Shaped Jell-O

If Valentine's Day gives you the creeps, then by all means make that special somebody an anatomically-correct heart-shaped Jell-O dessert drenched in cherry sauce.

But take heed:
Giving your partner a heart on Valentine's Day is sweet ... giving them a HEART ATTACK, not so nice.

Muskrat Love

Never, ever, think of playing or singing this song to your beloved on Valentine's Day. Ever. Muskrat Love is hands down the winner of the most sappy, cheesy, nauseating, cloying and syrupy love song of all time. Don't take our word for it -- we dare you to make it through the whole video!

Chocolate Tattoos

If you're going to get a tattoo in honor of your love-- get a real one -- at least a true tat doesn't make a huge, sticky mess.

Available at: guiltfunromanitcgifts

A Teddy Bear Holding a Heart

Taking someone for granted has never been so easy!

Roses Made out of Underwear

Buying roses is oh so very thoughtful. Some nice, tastefully naughty lingerie makes a nice gift, too ... but combining them? NOT COOL.

Available at: dhgate

Sex Education

There's so, so much wrong with giving this coital instruction manual for a V-Day gift. To start, calling your Valentine a "dummy" isn't likely to get anybody in "the mood" (unless you're into that kind of thing) and neither is having Dr. Ruth Westheimer's voyeuristic mug on the cover.

Available at: Amazon

8' Teddy Bear

Bring this thing into bed with you and you'll be sleeping on the couch! This montrosity will set you back 539 bucks.

Available at:BigPlush


next: Forget Flowers, Send a Hug!
7 comments so far | Post a comment now
cheryl Farretta February 11, 2010, 5:41 AM

Ellen there is a boy who lives in Hawaii that is trying to get his message for WORLD Peace out there. He makes bumper stickers and buttons, and sings and writes songs about World Peace,and he needs some recognation/ Hi name is Axil, and you can see him on his own website at www.worldpeacebefore2021.com thanks Ellem he needs your help in getting his word out, hes only 9 years old. thanks

Anonymous February 11, 2010, 10:44 PM

The Husband/Wife arm isn’t a half bad idea if your loved one is in the military. Something to hold you while they’re gone. However, if it’s from your significant other lives with you and you get this, that’s a whole other barrel of fish.

Jan February 12, 2010, 5:06 AM

Dear Ellen, I am an old lady of 72 (will be 73 on Valentines day.) I have terminal cancer(leukemia and lymphoma) but am not complaining. i have had a long wonderful life. I have 4 children, 12 grandkids and 12 greatgrandkids. I watch your show every morning and dance right along with you around my house. I had a wonderful husband who passed away 7 years ago and we went thru life dancing every chance we got. I just want you to know how much I love your show and want you to keep up the good things you do. Please remember me when you have another giveaway. I would love to have something from you. Love, one of your best fans, Jan Gleason

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