Sorry about the delay in posting our "American Idol" results-show recap, but I've been hard at work formulating my "A.I. Theorum" to share with you, okay? We're talking point spreads, people. The betting grid. An avid follower of this show since the Kelly Clarkson days of yore, I came up with a formula to predict the Top 5 that has been fairly reliable (save for curve balls like Nikki McKibbin from season 1). Anyway, these things take time and capricious cultivation -- elements that aren't readily available to me on a daycare-free Thursday.
But before I let you fine folks in on the data spewed forth by the algorithms afloat in my psyche, let's recap Wednesday night's goings-on, shall we? Both "Big Mike" Lynche and our GURL, single mom Crystal Bowersox, were declared safe, but the judges unanimously claimed they were overshadowed by one perky Massaholic, a.k.a. Siobhan Magnus -- who let forth a note during her theatrical rendition of "Paint It Black" that was likely heard in the far reaches of Machu Picchu. As I predicted, the bottom three were the capable Paige Miles, the affable Tim Urban and the heavy-lidded Lacey Brown. Tim was once again saved by his haircut and Paige by her potential -- leaving Lacey to get packing.
"American Idol" season 7 winner David Cook showed the contestants how a graduate of the system operates with his heavy turn on the Rolling Stones classic, "Jumpin' Jack Flash." Also, fierce metal-guitar goddess Orianthi nimbly soloed between verses with her undeniably catchy f***-you anthem, "According to You." Finally, Ke rapped through her latest hit, "Blah Blah Blah." (If you've yet to see her, she's like a record-label-crafted amalgam of Britney Spears and Lady Gaga.)
With all this snarling reverb hinting that metal is poised for a comeback, I'm getting the vibe that they are looking for a winner with the pipes to compete in this realm, even if it's not necessarily what they're serving up on stage. That said, here's my prediction for the "American Idol" Top 5:
Mike Lynche (Great story; even better vocals.)
Crystal Bowersox (The world loves 'em earnest. And we love our MamaSox!)
Siobhan Magnus (This crop's Allison-Reynolds-done-good; see "The Breakfast Club.")
Lee DeWyze (Top 40 ready.)
Casey James (WAY too hot not to place.)
Wild-card: Katie Stevens (Hey, she's young, cute and vocally capable.)
So what do you guys think? Do you have a different fave? Leave your thoughts below!
|Vivian Manning-Schaffel serves as momlogic's East Coast Editor. She has written for Babble, Parenting, The Advocate, The New York Post, Business Week and a variety of other publications and lives and works in the heart of breeder Brooklyn with her husband and two kids. She authors two pop culture blogs: The Mad Mom and A Hag Supreme, and is on the Web at vivianmanningschaffel.com.|