"It's not a tumor."
Julia Childless: I kept hearing my state governor's memorable line from the movie "Kindergarten Cop" as I left the endocrinologist's office with the news that he doesn't suspect a tumor, and that my cancer fears regarding my low thyroid levels can be put to rest.
These were wonderful things to hear, and I'm glad my subconscious had such a sense of humor, too. But the diagnosis, as a whole, was bittersweet: MRI, no; birth control pills, yes.
The idea is to regulate and even out my hormones over the next three to four months, to treat my amenorrhea. I've done this before. Like 1½ years ago, when I first decided I wanted to get pregnant. It did the trick -- I got my period back and was ovulating regularly. But then came the months of baby-making: charting my temperature, changing my diet, checking my cervical mucus, planning sex ... didn't I do this already? And my ovaries and I aren't getting any younger during these next three to four months.
But the other option -- to jump right into IVF -- didn't feel right, either. Although my husband and I know it might be something we do down the line (and we're financially prepared for it), it all seemed too rash. Too drastic. I still haven't done a number of basic fertility tests my reproductive endocrinologist recommended. The hysterosalpingogram, for example, which would show if there are any tubal/uterus problems. Then there are the fibroids he suspects I may have. And a possible uterine septum. My R.E. said these tests could still be conducted while I'm on the pill.
So really, the next three or four months are a blessing. I can go through these tests without the added stress of actively trying to conceive. Even though it seems like I'm going backwards, I'm actually moving forward.
|Julia Childless is a working actress living in Los Angeles without fertility insurance who has been trying to produce a bun in the oven for over a year.|