One of my biggest worries has been why I am not getting pregnant. Now I have something else to consume my brain space.
Julia Childless: So a few weeks ago, I found out that I had low thyroid levels. My reproductive endocrinologist referred me to a medical endocrinologist to find out what was going on. Lately, I've had a lot of blood taken from my arm.
Both my R.E. and the new M.E. were concerned with some of the test results. Because I have both low TSH and Free T4 levels (please don't ask me what any of this means; I could barely follow the diagram drawn for me in the office), they said this could be a sign of a tumor.
Um ... excuse me?
To be fair, my R.E. did follow the "tumor" mention with the words "often benign" -- and both my doctors agreed that my not experiencing any headaches or vision problems was a good sign. An MRI hasn't been ordered yet; we have another week to get more blood tests back and see what happens there.
All I can do is wait. I've been in a bit of denial -- I haven't been looking it up to see what a pituitary tumor or low TSH/Free T4 levels may actually mean. I don't know what the causes are or the treatment is, nor do I really want to know right now. For over a year, I've been obsessing over why I haven't been getting pregnant, trying to figure out every explanation as to why my body hasn't been cooperating. And well, if a possible tumor on my thyroid is the reason, sweating over all that small stuff seems ... well, small.
There are bigger fish to fry right now. I will wait until I see my doctor next week, and confront whatever has to be dealt with then. But in the meantime, fertility worries are on hold.
I think a break was necessary, anyway.
|Julia Childless is a working actress living in Los Angeles without fertility insurance who has been trying to produce a bun in the oven for over a year.|