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My Guests Loved My Breast Milk Risotto

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Don't knock it until you try it!

breast milk risotto

Dr. Wendy Walsh: Before I tell you this funny story, know this: Breast milk is the perfect human food. It is manufactured specifically to match the nutritional needs of a Homo sapiens and its high-quality protein would be coveted by bodybuilders if ever it were on the market.

Here's what breast milk is not: a bodily waste product. Breast milk is not urine! Having said that, many grownups have an aversion to even the thought of drinking human breast milk, because they feel it carries unwanted bacteria. Well, guess what? The breast milk that comes from cows, goats and sheep has far more potential for harm before it is homogenized. Homogenized means "made fit for humans," and it is simply a process where animal milk is heated to a level that kills most of the live bacteria. If you heat any animal product -- meat, eggs, dairy -- to 165 degrees, you make it safe to consume.

Okay, now that we have the science straight, let's move on to my social faux pas. When my oldest daughter was a baby, I had a fridge full of breast milk. My vegetarian "babydaddy" had experienced great intestinal illness himself as an infant due to reactions to commercial baby formula, and would not allow even one ounce of cow product to enter our angel daughter's system. And yes, as an adult, he also liked to have the odd sip of human breast milk (usually from the source).

One night, while my brother was visiting from Canada with his girlfriend (both are parents), I was making my favorite rich mushroom risotto, something I like to finish with a little fresh cream. I asked my partner to pass me some cream from the fridge. With a devilish smirk on his face, he dumped a four-ounce bottle of breast milk into my steaming pot, faster than I could open my mouth. The worst part was that my guests had seen this, too. So I couldn't lie about it.

We all laughed for a few minutes, and I asked my brother and his guest what we should do with the pot of risotto. My brother -- ever the practical one, and also quite hungry at the time -- assured me that the temperature of the pot made the milk sufficiently homogenized and that he, for one, was ready to eat dinner. His girlfriend agreed, and we all had a lovely meal. Upon her return to Canada, our lady guest included in her thank-you note a wish for my amazing risotto recipe -- although, she noted, it's sad that she'd have such a hard time finding all the ingredients.

next: The Price You Pay For Being Romantic...
39 comments so far | Post a comment now
Anonymous March 17, 2010, 1:31 AM

From a mans view point
If my woman ever had a mistake ( Baby ) I sure won’t want it sucking on my womans titts. Those are for a mans fun and pleause. I won’t won’t want some germ infested bastard sucking on them. She would get that milk dry up ASAP.

Anonymous March 17, 2010, 1:37 AM

Guys eat alot more than milk from a special woman that has far more germs on it. So I guess milk is alot more germ free but not as much fun ..

Anonymous March 17, 2010, 4:52 AM

I’m so sick of hearing how “natural” it is for humans to consume breast milk - um not after infancy it isn’t. Or if you think it is, let’s get all kinds of natural - in nature animals eat their weak babies and maul their mates during sex - so lets go there.

I’m sorry, it’s socially unacceptable to drink milk produced by a woman as an adult. If you are doing so you probably have some unresolved childhood issues or your mom breastfed you far too long

Anonymous March 17, 2010, 10:58 AM

Yes because drinking a substance produced by the human body FOR HUMANS (just as cow milk is intended for COWS, cows don’t seem to have these social issues do they?) is akin to mauling and eating children? Wow! You sound intelligent! Animals have been doing this since the dawn of time and humans ARE animals. Plenty of people also enjoy rough sex, where often one participant can and (sometimes preferably) WILL get hurt.

Social norms should not determine what is natural or logical. It is not logical for a human to consume that which is produced by another animal, for said animal’s offspring. It IS logical to consume that which is produced by your own species. Just because you’re uncomfortable with the idea does not make it disgusting (as if you could prove it!) or wrong.

What is wrong with people? March 18, 2010, 5:01 AM

Poor Sad Anonymous and her weak wear quote “Animals have been doing this since the dawn of time and humans ARE animals.” As another poster pointed out, animals also eat their young so I’m sure you’re all for that as well? And animals wean their babies early and it you notice, kick them off the teat if the young animals try to nurse again. Sorry sweetie, not normal for adults to drink breast milk, period. Yes, as adults we drink cow milk, we also eat meat, eggs, dairy - ALL products of other animals as everyone seems to love to point out about milk. There are certain social tomes that should be adhered to and NOT drinking breast milk as adult is certainly one since it is neither natural or logical to do so.

Virginia March 20, 2010, 9:54 AM

Can you provide the recipe please? Would love to try to make it! Thanks a in advance!

Jim March 21, 2010, 4:25 AM

If it’s not natural to drink breast milk, (for humans, by humans) it’s not natural to drink ANY milk.

Anonymous March 21, 2010, 4:30 AM

I like how you say that we shouldn’t follow animal’s example (eating young) and then you go on to provide an example of animal instinct (animals weaning their young) to back up your point.

For that matter, when animals wean their young, the young NEVER CONSUME DAIRY EVER AGAIN. So this really doesn’t back up your argument that drinking cow’s milk is more “logical” or “natural.” As, under those conditions, drinking ANY milk after a time is unnatural.

John March 23, 2010, 2:10 AM

Why would anyone listen to the opinions of a clinical psychologist in regards to human breast milk? She didn’t even do enough research on this to know what homogenization actually is, let alone the actual nutritional value of human breast milk (btw, not all that valuable to an adult). The idea that “breast milk is the perfect human food” is not only a massive assumption, but it’s also patently absurd.

Why does it always seem like all the real crazy people are hiding behind a psychology degree?

aj March 23, 2010, 5:44 AM

Cow milk for BABY cows. Human milk for BABY humans. The operative word is “baby”. Once you’re done nursing- no need to poison yourself with another species’ milk.

Maggie May 6, 2010, 10:14 PM

I have to admit I would have been mortified by this article prior to breast feeding my three children. Now I look at it completely differently. I educated myself very much on the subject and in fact I know bodybuilders who pay $50.00 per ounce for the MAGIC MUSCLE MILK aka breast milk. The only thing I would say is make sure your baby gets first dibs!

Reality October 29, 2010, 10:44 AM

I liked the article. Yeh it had mistakes but she’s a psycologist not a nutrition science doctor. So enough with the bashing OH wait, please discredidt my review becasue I have a few mispelled words. The whole human milk for humans makes allot of sense and its healthy. Human bacteria is already in our bodies so its not like a foregn product that needs to be cleaned and its not like were canibalizing either. Breast milk is made for consumption and some people make too much for their baby. Our society and Social views on eachother is whats beating this article up. By many standards it Socially unclean but hygenically safe. So get over yourselves.

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