Angela Chee: Dare I say that my husband may have to have the big V?
I never thought I'd be in a place to have this discussion, but here I am. You spend most of your early years trying to prevent pregnancy, your married life trying to conceive -- and then it comes full-circle after you have kids. What am I going to do for long-term birth control?
It's been years since I've been on the pill, and I don't really want to go back on hormones. I'm still breastfeeding, so I need to take the "mini-pill." It's basically progestin only, so it doesn't affect your milk supply. The downside is, you have to take it at the same time every day, or it doesn't work -- the window is like an hour. Great: With work, two kids and breastfeeding, I already have a hard time remembering to take my prenatals.
Another option -- an IUD -- seems kind of scary. I know it's supposed to be safe, but having something inside me for five to 10 years feels weird to me. One is copper and lasts 10 years; another has hormones and lasts five.
Condoms ... man, I haven't used one of those in a while. That doesn't seem like a good long-term solution.
So I guess it may be time for my husband to snip snip. A vasectomy. It's a good option because it's permanent, and also bad because it's permanent. I don't really want another child, but I also don't feel ready to say absolutely not. There are reversal surgeries, but no guarantees it will work-- and who wants to go through that again? He says he's willing to have a vasectomy (which is great), but I'm reluctant. If he's willing to go through with the procedure, why am I scared?
Do I secretly want more children? No -- but I guess I don't want to rule it out, either. I started doing some vasectomy research; there's the traditional and the non-scalpel method. From most of what I've read, both have equal success -- so I don't know why most wouldn't want the non-scalpel procedure, since it has a shorter recovery time and less scarring.
While the procedure only takes around 15 to 20 minutes, it's not a quick fix: You need to wait a few months after the surgery (to make sure it worked) before you get the all-clear. So for now, I'm just stalling with the "mini-pill" and the box of condoms in my drawer.
|Angela Chee is a television host, voiceover artist, motivational speaker and creator of TheZenMom.com, a resource for other moms because motherhood isn't always so Zen. She is a mother of two.|