momlogic's Vivian: First, I got to write a couple of essays offering Tori Spelling my meager two cents about how moms can totally relate to what goes down on her show. Then, I got to interview Scout and Bill, her lovely Guncles, about their quest to adopt. Next, I powwowed at length with Scout's mom about her adventures at New York Fashion Week. But today was the day I got to meet Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott face-to-face -- at last!
At a "Home 'Tweet' Hollywood" event held by Oxygen, I had the pleasure of previewing the season premiere of their show (and laughed out loud more than once). Afterward, the sweet and innately charming duo were kind enough to sit down and answer an assortment of point-blank questions from me and my ilk. Here's our interchange:
ml: As fairly new parents, how do you honor that part of yourselves that was there before kids? What do you do to reconnect with yourselves?
Tori Spelling: He's better at it than me. That's something I've been struggling with. I give everything to my kids, my husband, my work and there's nothing left for me. That's something that's a goal of mine. Because I have lost that.
Dean McDermott: It's something we also go through on the show. It's really important to do those things that you can identify with that kind of make you, you. The motorcycle racing can do that for me. I encourage her to find the same kind of outlet.
TS: He does -- he tells me to get a hobby all the time! It's so hard when you're a mom, because if you have any free time, I want to do stuff with them.
DM: I want to make motorcycle racing HER hobby.
ml: You're so great at interior design! It's kind of a natural progression from the jewelry and the clothing ....
TS: Thank you! See, all of my businesses are my loves! But then they become businesses ....
ml: And work! Well, laying by the pool is an honorable answer ... you could use the downtime, right?
TS: If I wasn't Twittering!
ml: You should lay out poolside! That's a great way to honor yourself.
TS: You'd have to take away my BlackBerry.
ml: Two hours by the pool -- no phone.
DM: At least she'd be in one place!
TS: We'll try that this summer.
ml: We know and love your Guncs so. Friendships like that teach us so much about ourselves. How do your relationships with them make you better parents?
DM: What they do to make us better parents is, if they are going to come over and hang out for the weekend, or sometimes they'll take the kids, they'll have things planned out for them to do. And they're incredibly organized. They pack lunches and have all these fun activities. So ideas beget ideas.
TS: They are really like doting grandparents! They never come over without something for the kids. And I thought I was good at putting stuff together! They put our stuff to shame. Like the Easter baskets they made for them ... I was like, "You outdid me again!"
ml: Shamed by Gunc!
TS: The best blessing that could happen is that they become parents.
DM: They so deserve it. They are sweet, sweet people. Just the other day, Bill calls us up and says he has a surprise for the little ones. He found a Spider-Man humidifier and a princess humidifier. Who does that?
ml: Two small children are exponentially harder than one. What secret would you share with other parents, in terms of trying to juggle everything you have on your plate, because you guys juggle so much? Is there a trick or mental game that helps you find that moment of Zen in the craziness?
DM: That's it exactly! The Zen. Whatever it takes to get you through your day, find it and do it. Because everybody's different. Every two sets of children are different.
TS: I don't even drink coffee! I don't know what gets me through my day!
DM: I drink it by the gallon. You know, T has said before, when you're pregnant, everybody has advice and everybody has opinions. And I feel for me to answer that question, I'd be doing that kind of thing. It's all individual.
TS: Two are definitely harder than one on one level, and then it's easier on another because at this point, they are best friends ... they do everything together. So they entertain each other. And their bond is just going to get better and better. It's hard to change diapers and get it all done. Especially when they both want you to carry them! As soon as I pick one up, the other one wants to be picked up.
DM: The answer, basically, is to listen to your instincts!
Don't miss the season premiere of "Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood" tonight at 10/9 on Oxygen! And follow @ToriandDean_HSH for exclusive tweets!
|Vivian Manning-Schaffel serves as momlogic's East Coast Editor. She has written for Babble, Parenting, The Advocate, The New York Post, Business Week and a variety of other publications and lives and works in the heart of breeder Brooklyn with her husband and two kids. She authors two pop culture blogs: The Mad Mom and A Hag Supreme, and is on the Web at vivianmanningschaffel.com.|