Tawni: "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." Is it OK to apply that timeless saying to the family unit? Many may think not, but fortunately for me I do not know those people. In 11 days, I am due to give birth to my third bundle of joy -- from (yes!) the third bundle provider.
Until I read a Daily Mail article about being a 4 x 4 mum (four kids by four dads), I had never heard such a phrase. I guess I am a 3 x 3 in waiting. I stumbled into motherhood at the age of 20 by doing what is quite common amongst folks at that (and any) age. The "sperm donor" (as I like to call him) and I were not involved in a serious relationship, and he threatened to stop seeing me if I kept the baby. Being that I was not particularly fond of him anyway, I told him to go screw himself. Not having this child was simply not an option; although I was only 20, I had definitely had my share of carelessness and lack of responsibility. (Maybe since I was born to an 18-year-old mother, this was not too scary for me to accept.)
When my daughter was born, I was amazed by her. It was just the two of us until she was 2 years old. When I met my now-ex-husband, I was 22 and he was 23. We totally jumped headfirst into what ended up being very cold water: We got married a year after we met; a year after that, we purposely had a child. My son was the perfect little brother and we were one big happy family ... kind of. Through observing the behavior of my ex, I realized that he was an addict. Even though he was pleasant enough and as supportive as a 25-year-old could be, he could not keep a job or take care of his family. I tried to deal with it for four years, then I had to leave. I'd always wanted a big family -- one that included a father for my children -- but sometimes things just don't work out the way you think they will. But the desire to have that truly beautiful family unit did not go away for me.
I had a couple of other rocky relationships that ended with ickyness before finding happiness. Then, there he was. FINALLY!! With the history I've had, I could have become jaded or cynical about commitment. But love reigned supreme. He is perfect for me and wants the same things I do for all the right reasons -- but is just different enough to keep it fresh and unique. We are having our first baby together, and have a wonderful, communicative, mature relationship that lights up my life. Completion has happened, and it has been a long time coming. I am very happy to have let go and moved on to a place where I do not judge myself for my past (well, maybe once in a while I do, LOL).