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'I Had My Tubes UNtied'

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When Roslyn Evans was 22 years old, she made the drastic decision to have a tubal ligation. At that time, she already had three children to raise and felt strongly that she was done with her childbearing years.

roslyn evans

With little guidance from her doctor, the surgery was completed -- and several years later, after she'd divorced her then-husband, remarried and wanted to start a new life, she was faced with a critical decision: accept the status quo, or have the surgery reversed and suffer the probability of permanent infertility.

According to momlogic expert Dr. Suzanne Gilbert-Lenz, the reversal of a tubal ligation has a 50 to 90 percent success rate -- and regret, especially with those who had their tubes tied under age 35, is the biggest hurdle.

Roslyn's story is one of faith and perseverance that ends happily with what she calls a "miracle" baby. We sat down with Rosalyn to discuss her journey and the new light of her life, Jasiyah.

momlogic: What persuaded you to make such a "permanent" decision at such an early age?

Roslyn EvansI was 22 years old when I had my tubes tied. I decided to do [it] because at the age of 22, I had three kids already and I could not take birth control pills at the time. Other means of [pregnancy] prevention were few at the time, as well. So I felt that I had enough and did not want any more children -- not knowing that I would someday end up divorcing their father and would want more kids later in life.

My doctor was an elderly doctor who had practiced for years; matter of fact, I think he retired shortly after I had my tubal. He explained that it was permanent, but he did not bring up [other options].

ml: You went through two procedures to have your tubes "untied." What was that like for you?

RE: I tried to reverse my tubal the first time back in 1998, and during that time, I was able to conceive -- but it was ectopic. As time went on, I was not able to conceive again. I thought it was not going to happen. I had attempted IVF treatment once I was remarried, but was unable to continue.

We moved, and once we were in our new home in Georgia, I went to a new OB/GYN and asked if there were any new science breakthroughs for tubal reversals. I felt that if you could receive a transplant of a heart, maybe your tubes could be done the same way, too. So she referred me to a specialist. That is where I found out that the reason the first reversal did not work was because of the type of suture the doctor had used. The entire cost of the [second reversal] was $6,900 -- far less expensive than IVF. And my surgery took only 55 minutes.

When I woke from the [second reversal], the doctor told me that, due to the missing section of the [left] tube from the ectopic pregnancy, he was not able to fix that side. But he was able to repair the other side. I went home to heal, and began working on conceiving a baby before my husband was deployed overseas for the next six months. I managed to get pregnant 45 days after the surgery.

ml: Your husband was stationed overseas and received an emergency leave when you had a miscarriage -- yet good news followed, correct?

RE: My husband had just begun deployment on a six-month tour when I miscarried. I lost the baby on March 1, 2008. By the time he got home it was March 15, 2008, and also the first day of ovulation for me. By day 21, I was pregnant again. He was back on deployment again when I gave birth to Jasiyah, but he was overjoyed about her arrival.

ml: The decision to have another child after a tubal ligation was a big one. Tell us about it.

RE: I truly wanted to experience motherhood again, and it was a part of my life that I longed for. I became a mother very early and young in life, and my older kids grew with me -- but now that I had time and patience, I wanted to be a mother again. I wanted to enjoy everything about giving birth to a child again.

ml: You've called your new baby "a little miracle." Tell us why.

RE: She is my little miracle child because once I found out that I was pregnant again, I also found out that my husband was having an affair at the same time. I was beginning to spot again around the same amount of weeks that I had miscarried before, so I placed myself on bedrest and prayed every day all day.

I had to attend a high-risk doctor and a regular doctor because of my age and because of the fact that I had high blood pressure as well. So it was a very risky pregnancy, and with all the other drama in my life, it was only God who brought me through. During my pregnancy, [the baby and I] began to rely on each other to get us through the good and the bad times that we were enduring. She would often respond with an early-morning kick -- once I asked her to let me know she was OK! -- and I would pray and laugh out loud so she could hear me. Jasiyah is now 16 months old and acts as if she has been here before -- very bright and smart.

ml: We're so thrilled that your difficult journey resulted in such a beautiful little girl!

momlogic readers, did any of you get a tubal ligation -- and then regret it?

next: J. Lo's Orgasmic Pregnancy
12 comments so far | Post a comment now
Cyndi May 7, 2010, 7:16 AM

My husband and I had 4 boys and finally had a girl. Under pressure from both families saying we had “enough” children, I got my tubes tied. We were sorry almost immediately. Several years later, I got my tubes untied in July and was pregnant with our beloved Olivia by September. Eventually we had 2 more children(a little boy that was stillborn) for a total of 8. We often think what we would have missed! I cannot stress enough that it is unwise to do anything permanent when there is so much good birth control out there. Your whole life can change in a period of several years, and to have cut off your options is sad.

mom May 7, 2010, 8:55 AM

awww this so sweet

Jacqueline Whittig May 7, 2010, 9:36 AM

I have a daughter, age 35 now. I talked her into getting her tubes tied, because the way she was raising her daughter, she didn’t need anymore children. That was around the age of 23. But she didn’t get them tied, she had titanim clips put in. I thought that was ok. Eventually, she went on drugs, took Jenna out all hours of the night, left her with a room-mate, male, and I didn’t know all this until the bus driver told me. It was always the room-mate walking her to the bus stop, or picking her up. I would call every morning, and I am 57, disabled, to talk to my daughter. She was always in her bedroom, with the door locked, and she had a miagraine. No she wasn’t even home. I found out that the room-mate was screaming and yelling at Jenna until 2:00am in the morning, because her mother wasn’t home. Jenna, said, “Grandma, I was so tired, but he wouldn’t let me go to bed.! That did it. I refinanced my house, got a lawyer, but by then, she had run to Jenna’s dad! They were never married. Jenna cried, she didn’t want to leave me. For two months I went there and picked her up, two hours a way, and bought her home. Anyway, my daughter and him got into another fight, and they called me at 2:00am in the morning to come and get them. I prayed all the way there, so God would keep her safe until we got there. When my daughter ran, she left everything in the apartment. If it wasn’t for her dad, she wouldn’t of had anything. We paid her house payment along with ours, her utilities along with ours, etc. So I got a lawyer and now have custody of Jenna. But the titanium clips? She is pregnant with twins!! There is no way we can take on twins. If I see them, I will want them. I am in bad health myself and have gave myself to my family, and was caregiver to my mom, dad, and sister. I said how can this happen? I asked my surgeon, because I had some surgery a month ago. He said, it can happen. I am just sick. Are they going to born normal? She smokes, and still does drugs, but not the hard drugs she use to be on. She told me to keep Jenna, Jenna was happier here. When Jenna found out she was pregnant. You could see the hurt in her eyes. She said and I quote, “Why didn’t you love me mom? I wasn’t good enough for you?” OMG! I lost it. I mean we have lost everything because of her. I am in a hospital bed to sleep. I just wish I could go back in time, and have got Jenna earlier. The teachers love her. I am blessed for that. Right now though, she is overweight, and I am really concerned. And now my boy isn’t talking to me, because I can’t take his two kids at once. My God, they are adorable, but Jenna needs me. What was I to do, put her in a foster home? Now what is my daughter going to do with twins? No beds, no nothing. She stays with the same room-mate. Anyway, I am very sorry, I took up this space. I am going through a deep depression, and I think Jenna is too, and we are both eatting our hearts content. Her grades are wonderful, she has had her eye surgery, and she makes her regular appointments at Riley. Now if we had our beautiful pull camper back, and get away from things for awhile, it would be nice. I don’t think if you don’t want anymore children, don’t do the titanium clips. Thanks for listening!

Anna May 7, 2010, 9:53 AM

I was 38 years old when I had my tubes tied. I already had 3 yr old son and I desperately wanted another child to grow up with my son. I was in an abusive, unhappy marriage, but was only thinking of my son and the fact that I didn’t want him growing up alone. Once I had my daughter, I made the decision to have my tubes tied. My marriage failed and we divorced. Two years later I found a wonderful, wonderful man and remarried. What can I say…it’s the same story as always….I want so desperately to give my new husband a child, but we can’t afford the tubal reversal. My husband never complains, but at times when I catch him looking at babies and I see the sadness in his eyes…I feel horrible and wish I had never gotten my tubes tied, but there’s nothing we can do. It’s sad!!

Rylee May 7, 2010, 9:55 AM

Sounds like she didn’t need to be having another baby anyway if her husband was a loser. Just goes to show you she was right the first time.

Anon May 7, 2010, 6:16 PM

Three kids by 22; she started young.

forex robot May 31, 2010, 7:52 PM

found your site on today and really liked it.. i bookmarked it and will be back to check it out some more later

julie June 13, 2010, 12:45 PM

Im 34 and had my tubes ties when my daughter was born 13 years ago! When the doctor said I would wish for more kids later i lol because I knew no more kids !Well He was right I wish I could have a child to love. MY kids have a 5 years and then…… My boyfriend just wishes for his own family and I cant give him the precious gift of a child. I feel that Its time to give love to a child again i just need help!!!!!! Im screaming inside to love a child when i made the decision I was in a horrible marriage and did not want to bring anymore childern into this world with him so I at 21 gave up my gift of life WHY well i wish i could change it

tara August 24, 2010, 9:03 AM

I am 47 yrs old, had my tubes ties in 1988 after my last child by the husband then. Dated my husband now for 11yrs before we got maried in 2006, been married 4 yrs and now we want to have a baby together; all of our children are grown up. I have an appointment on 9/3/10 to talk to my medical Dr. to see what I need to do inorder to get pregnant or to see if my tubes are still tied. ?…can tubes grow back together over a period of time being tied???? looking to hear from positive people.

gunfoor123 February 5, 2011, 7:04 AM

Excellent read, I just passed this onto a colleague who was doing a little research on that. And he actually bought me lunch because I found it for him smile So let me rephrase that: Thanks for lunch!
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Kerala February 6, 2011, 2:48 PM

My doctor was an elderly doctor who had practiced for years; matter of fact, I think he retired shortly after I had my tubal. He explained that it was permanent, but he did not bring up [other options].
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Kardha Sam March 13, 2011, 6:07 AM

There are many foundations working for promoting such efforts and my foundation was established in 2006 as a public charity for the educational benefit of women and girls in pregnancy. ships in a bottle

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