Guest blogger Kendra: I need some advice.
I have a 7-year-old son and a 9-year-old daughter, and they are friends with another set of siblings -- a boy and a girl who are in their same classes in school. My daughter's friend, Molly, is darling. She is kind, creative and smart -- the type of child I want hanging out with my kid. Her brother, Max, however, is a little creep. I cannot stand this boy: He is sneaky, manipulative and a bad influence on my son. I have always said to my kids, "Mommy has to like your friends, or you can't be friends with them" -- and I have had no trouble with this rule in the past. It's always been easy to enforce ... until now. Do you see my dilemma? How can I get rid of Max without damaging my daughter's friendship with Molly? Or without their mother getting offended and making Molly stay away from us?
This hasn't been slow in coming: I've witnessed little things about Max's character while he has been at our home, and there have been a few incidents at school as well. Last week, Max urged my son to steal money from my purse to buy something for the both of them at the after-school sale the next day. Of course my kid told me about it, and I called Max's mom to let her know. Did she thank me and tell me she'd take care of it? Nope. She said, "That doesn't sound like something he'd do." Yeah, go on living in denial, lady.
Had that been the first time something like this happened, I might have agreed with her. But then there was the time Max urged my son to steal a chocolate milk for him (their teacher overheard it and told me about it) and the time that Max was overheard (by another mother, a friend of mine) at the book fair telling my son he couldn't buy a certain book, because if he did, he wouldn't be able to afford books for both of them. WTF?! That, combined with all the other manipulative, Eddie Haskell-ish things that Max does, makes me know he's not someone I want in my son's life. I have a sinking feeling about this boy; the longer he's around, the worse it's going to be. He's only going to get worse in middle and high school, too.
I have talked frankly with my son about Max and told him that he needs to stay away from him and pursue friendships with other kids as much as possible. He said, "Yeah, Mom, right. He follows me everywhere. And he doesn't like me to be friends with Danny or Nico." OMG, this gets my blood BOILING.
It's got to stop! But honestly, if a mother in my position came to me and explained that she didn't want one of my children around her kid, but that the other one was OK -- I don't know -- I might just make a clean cut and separate my whole family from hers. It would be too weird.
I need some advice here. How do I get rid of Max without alienating his sweet sister, Molly -- or pissing off their mother?! Help!