twitter facebook stumble upon rss

Why Moms Cheat on Their Man the Day After Mother's Day

sign up for the momlogic newsletter Tweet This

UPDATE: 31,427 women signed up for AshleyMadison.com the day after Mother's Day, Ashley Madison reps tell momlogic.

AshleyMadison.com, the dating website for married people, tells momlogic exclusively that the day after Mother's Day is the second-busiest day of the year for female member signups.

unhappy woman in bed

On a typical Monday, between 2,500 and 3,000 women join AshleyMadison.com. But on the day after Mother's Day last year, AshleyMadison.com saw close to 24,000 new signups. They anticipate that 30,000 women will join this year on May 10 -- the day after Mother's Day.

This "day after" trend is nothing new to AshleyMadison.com: Their biggest day of the year for female signups is the day after Valentine's Day, and their third-biggest day is the day after New Year's.

Why are holidays like these such turning points for women? Noel Biderman, president and founder of AshleyMadison.com, says, "Because they have expectations -- expectations that their partnership will be celebrated and even romanticized -- but that is often not what transpires ...."

Biderman (a married father of two) believes there are several reasons why women turn to AshleyMadison.com after Mother's Day in particular:

  • On Mother's Day, women in general expect to be celebrated by their partners. However, for many already suffering from a lack of appreciation, this day represents a continuation of neglect and disappointment.

  • Women have affairs for different reasons than men. Whereas men are usually looking for sex, women tend to seek attention that they're not getting at home. This lack of attention often makes them feel undesirable -- and feeds their need for validation.

Last Mother's Day, momlogic spoke with a woman who said that Mother's Day ended her marriage. "I knew Mother's Day was off to a bad start when my husband informed me the night before that the holiday had nothing to do with him and it should be between me and the kids. In the morning, I was handed a cold cup of coffee by my husband. My card and gift were left downstairs. The card and gift had been bought hours earlier, after my husband asked me, "So, what do you want, anyway?" No thought, no advance planning, no special effort put forth at all. It was so disappointing. I chose to sleep on the couch that night. My husband chose to move out. Mother's Day essentially marked the end of our marriage." Read her full story here.

Is there any way to help ensure that you won't be disappointed on Mother's Day by your partner? Psychologist Dr. Michelle Golland says that you have to speak up! "I think it is important for moms to share with their husbands what they would enjoy for Mothers Day," she says. "If you want a day off or breakfast in bed, say so. I told my husband what I would enjoy to do, and I of course will reciprocate for him on Father's Day. For some reason, we WISH our partners were mind readers. But guess what? They aren't! So share with them what really matters this year to you."

Biderman says that he plans to step it up for his own wife even more this Mother's Day. "The ironic thing about running Ashley Madison is that I -- maybe more than any guy on the planet -- am so aware of what transpires when you neglect your partner," he says. "As a husband and father, I personally look forward to Mother's Day as an incredible opportunity to celebrate our family dynamic, my wife's dedication and our interpersonal relationship. I intend to make my wife smile from the moment she wakes up -- hopefully a bit later than usual -- to the moment she goes to bed ... with me!"

But even if your guy comes up short, Dr. Golland warns moms to think before they cheat. "Cheating on your spouse will only further complicate a challenging situation -- and add more carnage to your marital problems," she says. "The damage created by an affair is very difficult to repair. That is not to say that repair after infidelity is impossible, but to rebuild the trust after such a traumatic event is hard. Statistics show that many marriages do not survive this level of betrayal."

Here are Dr. Golland's top five ways to stop an affair before it begins.


Top 5 Ways to Stop an Affair Before It Begins

Communicate

Tell your partner how frustrated, sad, angry, disappointed you are currently. It is imperative that we let our partner know how we are feeling. Ask your husband how he is feeling in the marriage. Be open to his own hurts and frustrations. Remember, conflict is not bad and will eventually bring you closer.

Plan Alone Time

Make sure you keep your relationship on the front burner of your life. Get babysitters and make time for each other unrelated to the children. Go out to dinner, movies, dancing -- anything that will bring joy and build connections.

Sexual Intimacy

Sex doesn't just happen! You need to make it happen with your partner. Make time for sexual experiences. Be open to how our sexual relationship shifts and changes over time. Communicate your sexual needs to your partner or simply show him.

Cheating Thoughts

If you are having thoughts of cheating, this is a big warning sign to seek professional help from a therapist. You need to understand the underlying emotional reasons why you want to be unfaithful.

Think before you act out

Think about your partner's feelings and the devastation that an affair will cause you, your partner and your children.


For those moms who do decide to log on to AshleyMadison.com the day after Mother's Day, there is hope: Momlogic recently interviewed a mom who met her future husband on AshleyMadison.com.

Does the fact that more women sign up for AshleyMadison.com the day after Mother's Day surprise you? Do guys need to step it up?


next: Top 8 Mother's Day E-Cards Moms Want
325 comments so far | Post a comment now
Mike May 9, 2010, 1:54 PM

Maybe one reason so many “Moms” are not celebrated or appreciated by thier husbands is because they don’t return the favor. I know it is hard for me to celebrate my Wife as a Mother when all she does is point out all my inadequacies. I can’t remember the last time she said something nice to me that didn’t have a “and I want….” attached to it.
I bought her a Mother’s day gift and got the same reply I always do: “You really expect me to wear that?” And it was a very conservative top. If you are going to come across like I am a pain your butt, don’t expect me to celebrate you. Men would like the same treatment that Women expect: Appreciation.

Matt May 9, 2010, 7:51 PM

The sad truth of the matter can be heard in many of the posts. It has to do with how much did he spend on me, or how unappreciated I feel as a stay at home mom. Do not for a minute think that I don’t honor and respect stay at home moms. Anyone who thinks that those with “professional” jobs are more respectable or valuable than those staying home to raise their kids has been sold a pathetic lie. Just look at the difference in how the youth of today behave then from generations past. {The “me” generation} The crux of the matter is that society is trying to convince us that the value of someone is determined by the amount of money they make or the money others spend on them. If a stay at home mom’s husband goes to work every day to provide for his family, does that not show his appreciation and more importantly his commitment and love for his family? Likewise, so does the daily commitment and hard work a stay at home mom makes for her family. Those are demonstrated every day, not two contrived holidays made to guilt consumers into spending more money. Husbands, better to pick a day when it is not “expected” to go out of your way to do something special for the mother of your children, and that shouldn’t have to have a dollar value attached for it to count. Wives, do the same. More importantly tell each other you love each other every day. Listen to each other, and both be engaged in the raising of your children on a daily basis. There was commitment, love, and adoration long before there was Visa, Mastercard or Macy’s. Don’t believe the commercials that say “from $50 to $5000 we have a gift that mom would love you forever” People who judge their appreciation based on the value of the gifts they receive are more likely selfish rather than unappreciated. If your relationship is so cold that neither one of you pays attention to the other much, it didn’t get that way because the other didn’t roll out the wallet at the local flower or jewelry store, electronics store. There is a bigger core issue. You both are probably not making the time for each other. You both are likely ignoring some need of the other. “Not tonight, I have a headache” “Not right now the game is on.” “I can’t talk right now, I have an important deadline to make.” “Maybe later, I am reading my book.” If those are common in your day to day, then maybe you should take a good look at the choices you are making in your careers, your beliefs, your friends, and your values. As far as mother’s day and father’s day, emphasize spending time not money.

One last bit of advice, remember that no one can read minds and no one is perfect, including yourself. Tell your spouse what you need and feel in as direct terms as you can. But also accept them when they don’t get it right, because contrary to your own belief, you won’t get it right always either. Just encourage each other to work at it.







Jennifer May 10, 2010, 5:59 AM

Uhm I think the point of this article is not that these women cheat because they were jipped on mothers day. The point is that their marriages were on the down hill for a very long time and mothers day was the day that they finally realized it was over. To put it in man terms, what if your wife was a a menstrual btch 24-7 and then on fathers day, the only appreciation you got was to be told to mow the dmn lawn, it might be a wake up call to an already huge disaster.

Bob May 10, 2010, 7:37 AM

My God you women are a whiny bunch. Nothing is ever good enough.

Men need to make a fuss out of Mother’s Day for their SPOUSE? Really? All you women want are gifts, gifts, and more gifts. I work hard and provide for my family so my wife can BE a mother. If that’s not recognition to her importance, I don’t know what is. The kids made her gifts, breakfast, etc. As it should be…

Seriously ladies, get over it. And it’s a reason to cheat is even more rich. You know what? Go for it. More power to you. If you’re that shallow, may as well be completely selfish.

memomachine May 10, 2010, 8:10 AM

Hmmmm.

My choice in not getting married has been validated by nonsense like this. Why American women seem to believe that they need to be worshiped all the time is beyond me but it does seem to be part of the female culture.

Looking at this Ashley Madison nonsense:

To married men in America … suckers!

Queeine May 10, 2010, 8:57 AM

I’m sorry, but Mother’s day is a day not only for your children to show Love and Appreciation, your Husband should too Chris. Mother’s Day is that special day your husband or boyfriend tells you you are the woman he is proud he had his beautiful children with, and would all over again.

Johann Amadeus Metesky May 10, 2010, 8:59 AM

What do you think the chances are that any of the women complaining about their husbands’ failure to treat them they way they want to be treated on mothers day have ever, even once, woke their husband up with oral sex? How many of them will drag their husbands to a home show, but will refuse to accompany him to a car show?

Women today want to be married, they just don’t want to be wives.

Jeff May 10, 2010, 9:12 AM

Wife expects husband to read mind. Husband clueless. Wife gets angry and pouts. Withholds sex. Wife makes more unspoken demands. Husband still clueless. Wash, rinse, repeat.
Honestly, ladies, if there was no such thing as sex, how many engagement rings do you think would ever get purchased? Follow that thread of thought - but not too far. You won’t like where it leads…

Louise May 11, 2010, 3:14 AM

First of all to the woman whose husband announced he wasn’t celebrating Mothers Day because it wasn’t about him. When Fathers Day comes around her response should be “I’m not celebrating Fathers Day because it’s not about me”, and that this holiday is all about him therefore he should spend the entire day looking in the mirror and kissing his own feet, the kids and you are not involved since this holiday is likewise not about the kids.

Give him a bag of ice and draw him a cold shower and have the sofa ready, because until he changes his attitude that’s where he can expect to sleep.

As far as cheating, their is never A GOOD EXCUSE, CHEATING ONLY MAKES A BAD SITUATION A LOT WORSE, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEIR ARE KIDS INVOLVED.

BUT KEEP IN MIND, MEN HAVE NO EXCUSE FOR CHEATING EITHER.

CHEATING TO ADVANCE SOMEONE’S CAREER IS NOT COMMON, I DON’T KNOW OF ANYONE WHO HAS DONE IT AND IT’S WRONG, IT DOESN’T ADVANCE SOMEONES CAREER ULTIMATELY IT DESTROYS IT, AND WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO ADVANCING BASED ON HARD WORK AND INTELLIGENCE???

Louiaw May 11, 2010, 3:45 AM

This is an adendem to my response to the woman whose “husband didn’t feel he needed to celebrate Mothers Day because it wasn’t about him”.

In addition to everything I suggested you do, buy yourself a Diamond Braclet using YOUR HUSBANDS CREDIT CARD, MAKE SURE YOU GET A CARD WITH IT “HAPPY MOTHERS DAY, FROM A HUSBAND WHO DOESN’T APPRECIATE YOU”, TAKE THE KIDS AND YOU OUT TO A REALLY NICE LUNCH AT A GREAT RESTAURANT, AGAIN USING HIS CREDIT CARD.

BETWEEN THE COLD SHOWER, THE BAG OF ICE, THE SOFA, THE BRACLET AND THE LUNCH, IF HE DOESN’T GET THE MESSAGE, T-H-E-N REPEAT NEXT YEAR.

Louise May 11, 2010, 4:23 AM

ANOTHER ADENDUM:

JUST TO BE SAFE, RETAIN A REALLY GOOD DIVORCE LAWYER (WITHOUT YOUR HUSBANDS KNOWLEDGE), FIND OUT EVERYTHING ABOUT HIS ASSETS.

IF HE THREATENS TO LEAVE, HIT HIM WITH THE FIRST PUNCH, A LETTER BY SAID REALLY GOOD DIVORCE LAWYER SHOULD DO THE TRICK. IF NOT, HEY THIS GUY WANTS TO BE A JERK, WELL TWO CAN PLAY THE SAME GAME.

good grief May 11, 2010, 6:41 AM

The world has gone completely insane.

Know what was good enough for me on Mother’s Day? Hand-made cards from my children, spending time together exploring a park, taking family pictures, going out for a nice dinner so that I had a break from cooking Sunday dinner, then having some nice, intimate time later.

I was asked if I wanted a day off - I was asked what gift I wanted - I just wanted my family around me.

But I will say, I do know that I’m appreciated, every single day. And not with gifts - but with affection, with kindness, with helping out with chores, with my children’s “Yay, Mommy’s home!”

One thing’s for certain, I have a good man and I have loving children. What else could I ask for?

Vicki May 11, 2010, 7:32 AM

I used to like Mother’s Day. I didn’t care what I got. My ex-husband never got me anything, for any holiday. Note, he is an ex.
Anyway, last year on Mother’s Day, my 22 year old son was killed in a car accident. He had left a card on my table before he left the house. He called me and told me it was here. That was the last time I ever spoke to him.
I still have a beautiful daughter and a wonderful grandson who was born last October.
Mother’s Day was hard this year, but I got through.

this is stupid May 11, 2010, 8:49 AM

Grow up - Mothers day was a made up holiday - if it is that bad - mothers day should not have been the start of all your frustrations, people just dont communicate any more and they are just too busy to actually sit back and enjoy each other. Make time for each other and things should be fine - it is a two way street. Do men sign up the day after fathers day? Come on!

Suzanne May 11, 2010, 10:06 AM

Your family should show you love and support all year long not just on Mother’s Day. Cheating won’t make things better, that is such a cop out.

Beth May 11, 2010, 11:21 AM

If this is remotely true, how sad. First of all, there is a dating website for married women? Seriously? That is one huge problem. The second problem is that if not getting a $10 bunch of flowers drives you to cheat on your husband, there are some serious issues. Actual serious issues. Mother’s Day is a nice novelty. Did I enjoy the scribbled card from my little one? Of course - its heart melting. Would not getting it cause me to question my entire relationship? Absolutely not. Let’s get some perspective.

Martha May 11, 2010, 3:10 PM

My Mothers Day consisted of doing laundry,sweeping the floors,cooking dinner and the grocery shopping.Did I mind ,not at all,why?, because I am not married,but I do have a wonderfull 10 year old daughter,she filled her Barbie car with small gifts she had purchased for me, along with my boyfriend,at a flea market earlier in the month flashing diamond earrings,felt flowers,a coupon book,and a MOM plaque,along with her homemade card.She had me close my eyes and she had the car remoteley move across the floor,full of gifts.I love her imagination and I love more my boyfriend for being the father she deserves.Her father, well as usual did nothing,but continue to teach her not to respect her Mother.Thats why he sits alone and complaining that another man is raising his daughter.You reap what you sow A hole, quit whining and step up and be a father.

Danielle A. May 11, 2010, 3:10 PM

Go Matt! I’d do the same but I’m not married.
This AshleyMadison CEO is a greedy SOB! You gotta give it to him though, he’s got job stability! Knows how to make a buck, ha? Investing in complete sluts and douchebags. No-good ‘wives’ and ‘husbands’. There’s always gonna be people like that out there unfortunately. That’s too bad their too immature to communicate their feelings and would rather pay money to find someone else to bang. LOSERS. People like that don’t deserve to be happily married. Especially if they have kids. That’s how others get nasty STD’s. Whores, whores, whores! And someone’s making money off that. How sick is that?

Erika May 12, 2010, 6:41 AM

Wow - what a hypocrite. He runs this website and then admonishes women for considering cheating. That is called “talking out both sides of your mouth”. Platform, my foot. I don’t think I could be married to a guy who promoted such crap, even if he was living out the most positive example with me.

This guy isn’t helping anything with this horrible website. “Won’t convince anyone into adultery”? That’s supposedly his defense about his website - but that’s what advertising is for!! Look at the stuff at the bottom of the main home page on his website.

This guy wouldn’t know a bucket of integrity if it fell on his head.

Cheryl May 12, 2010, 6:58 AM

The women that cheat on their spouses after not receiving anything (from their spouses) for Mother’s Day is just plain ridiculous! There are obviously problems in the marriage long before. There are more important things in life than being so hurt by not receiving a gift. The love that you share with your children and spouse is the best thing in life. Receiving a card and a gift is not important. I would much rather play a board game; go for a hike, swimming, biking, to a movie etc..than have my family buy an expensive card that eventually goes in the trash. Love and cherish your family and you will be rewarded with the same love.


Leave a reply:



(not displayed)

     




Avoid clicking "Post" more than once
Back to top >>
advertisement