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Why Moms Cheat on Their Man the Day After Mother's Day

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UPDATE: 31,427 women signed up for the day after Mother's Day, Ashley Madison reps tell momlogic., the dating website for married people, tells momlogic exclusively that the day after Mother's Day is the second-busiest day of the year for female member signups.

unhappy woman in bed

On a typical Monday, between 2,500 and 3,000 women join But on the day after Mother's Day last year, saw close to 24,000 new signups. They anticipate that 30,000 women will join this year on May 10 -- the day after Mother's Day.

This "day after" trend is nothing new to Their biggest day of the year for female signups is the day after Valentine's Day, and their third-biggest day is the day after New Year's.

Why are holidays like these such turning points for women? Noel Biderman, president and founder of, says, "Because they have expectations -- expectations that their partnership will be celebrated and even romanticized -- but that is often not what transpires ...."

Biderman (a married father of two) believes there are several reasons why women turn to after Mother's Day in particular:

  • On Mother's Day, women in general expect to be celebrated by their partners. However, for many already suffering from a lack of appreciation, this day represents a continuation of neglect and disappointment.

  • Women have affairs for different reasons than men. Whereas men are usually looking for sex, women tend to seek attention that they're not getting at home. This lack of attention often makes them feel undesirable -- and feeds their need for validation.

Last Mother's Day, momlogic spoke with a woman who said that Mother's Day ended her marriage. "I knew Mother's Day was off to a bad start when my husband informed me the night before that the holiday had nothing to do with him and it should be between me and the kids. In the morning, I was handed a cold cup of coffee by my husband. My card and gift were left downstairs. The card and gift had been bought hours earlier, after my husband asked me, "So, what do you want, anyway?" No thought, no advance planning, no special effort put forth at all. It was so disappointing. I chose to sleep on the couch that night. My husband chose to move out. Mother's Day essentially marked the end of our marriage." Read her full story here.

Is there any way to help ensure that you won't be disappointed on Mother's Day by your partner? Psychologist Dr. Michelle Golland says that you have to speak up! "I think it is important for moms to share with their husbands what they would enjoy for Mothers Day," she says. "If you want a day off or breakfast in bed, say so. I told my husband what I would enjoy to do, and I of course will reciprocate for him on Father's Day. For some reason, we WISH our partners were mind readers. But guess what? They aren't! So share with them what really matters this year to you."

Biderman says that he plans to step it up for his own wife even more this Mother's Day. "The ironic thing about running Ashley Madison is that I -- maybe more than any guy on the planet -- am so aware of what transpires when you neglect your partner," he says. "As a husband and father, I personally look forward to Mother's Day as an incredible opportunity to celebrate our family dynamic, my wife's dedication and our interpersonal relationship. I intend to make my wife smile from the moment she wakes up -- hopefully a bit later than usual -- to the moment she goes to bed ... with me!"

But even if your guy comes up short, Dr. Golland warns moms to think before they cheat. "Cheating on your spouse will only further complicate a challenging situation -- and add more carnage to your marital problems," she says. "The damage created by an affair is very difficult to repair. That is not to say that repair after infidelity is impossible, but to rebuild the trust after such a traumatic event is hard. Statistics show that many marriages do not survive this level of betrayal."

Here are Dr. Golland's top five ways to stop an affair before it begins.

Top 5 Ways to Stop an Affair Before It Begins


Tell your partner how frustrated, sad, angry, disappointed you are currently. It is imperative that we let our partner know how we are feeling. Ask your husband how he is feeling in the marriage. Be open to his own hurts and frustrations. Remember, conflict is not bad and will eventually bring you closer.

Plan Alone Time

Make sure you keep your relationship on the front burner of your life. Get babysitters and make time for each other unrelated to the children. Go out to dinner, movies, dancing -- anything that will bring joy and build connections.

Sexual Intimacy

Sex doesn't just happen! You need to make it happen with your partner. Make time for sexual experiences. Be open to how our sexual relationship shifts and changes over time. Communicate your sexual needs to your partner or simply show him.

Cheating Thoughts

If you are having thoughts of cheating, this is a big warning sign to seek professional help from a therapist. You need to understand the underlying emotional reasons why you want to be unfaithful.

Think before you act out

Think about your partner's feelings and the devastation that an affair will cause you, your partner and your children.

For those moms who do decide to log on to the day after Mother's Day, there is hope: Momlogic recently interviewed a mom who met her future husband on

Does the fact that more women sign up for the day after Mother's Day surprise you? Do guys need to step it up?

next: Top 8 Mother's Day E-Cards Moms Want
325 comments so far | Post a comment now
jdc May 12, 2010, 8:08 AM

When will there be some balance. women expect so much on mothers day, cards flowers, dinner, expensive gifts etc and blow arteries if they are disappointed. And fathers day comes around and most of the men I know are lucky to get a card or even a “happy fathers day”. how about doing away with both of the hallmark holidays forever.

Fruit Punch May 12, 2010, 12:18 PM

My god, the people commenting on here are a bunch of bitter, angry people. Just because you’re LOUD, doesn’t mean you’re right.

I know that some women take advantage of men, spend all of their money and expect to be worshipped. But the majority of women I know, including those in my family and my friends, don’t act that way at all. I don’t know any stay-at-home moms except one. We all work full-time jobs, and most of us make more than our husbands. I, for one, put in 50 hour weeks and still do ALL of the housework, child rearing, bill paying and I initiate sex about half of the time. By the way, my husband’s unemployed right now.

So do I expect some acknowledgement of some kind from him on holidays (as I always buy him a small gift, memento, card or make him a special supper)? HELL YES! There’s no expectation of an f-in diamond, but it would be nice JUST ONCE to have a birthday, Valentine’s Day, Christmas, Mother’s Day in my lifetime where he actually makes me feel like a special woman. This V-Day, he went out the night before and and bought a new flat screen. As he was leaving the store, my 10-year-old son said he wanted to get me something for V-Day (probably because he saw my husband was once again “forgetting”), so my husband bought a small bag of chocolates for my son to give to me. Of course, I had purchased a couple of little things for my husband.

We’re not all shrews. That’s my point. I’ve known only a couple of gold-digging women in my life, but plenty of loser men. By the way, I live in the Midwest where hard work is deeply valued. Maybe that’s why so many women here work so hard and still feel obligated to act like stay-at-home moms.

brad May 12, 2010, 5:54 PM

wah wah wah if you and your husband don’t respect each other a holiday isn’t going to make the difference.

didjman May 12, 2010, 8:49 PM

i hope this article isn’t trying to say that cheating due to feeling unappreciated or unfulfilled expectations is justified..
& i certainly hope no one reading this article feels that way..
if men don’t get to get away with any excuses for cheating, then these excuses should not be acceptable..

The other side..... May 13, 2010, 6:23 PM

I do feel that as a husband and father, it is my job, and something I enjoy, to celebrate and appreciate my wife and mother of my children, on Mothers Day. I make sure the kids do too (10,16). I do show her I care on Mothers Day, Valentins Day, Christmas, birthday, anniversery, New Years, and do something nice at least once a day in between. Every husband/father should.

But….. it really sucks to be forgotten on MY Birthday, watch everyone but me open a Christmas present, (even the dog got 3!), not even a kiss on Valentins Day, or our anniversery. I don’t want expensive things, or even things at all. I would be happy to have my love and appreciation returned in any way. (yes, I mean any way for years).

So to all of you, appreciate each other. Rejoyce in your partnership, it takes work, but on both sides. Why intentionally hurt someone you love?

shashani May 15, 2010, 11:13 PM

i love my don’t know what value you are?But i know the value of my love.I don,t need any demonstrations or any emotional of thier commitment throught some material commentcially generated day.Try to understanding mom feelings.

Lydia May 17, 2010, 9:53 AM

There’s an alternative to joining sites like Ashley Madison. It starts with a wife buying her own presents and ends with her squaring up and kicking her husband in the onions. We outline exactly what you need to know:

me May 18, 2010, 5:26 PM

chris, u sound hella bitter. u need to get laid.

chase internet banking October 18, 2010, 11:46 AM

Hey, I just hopped over to your site via StumbleUpon. Not somthing I would normally read, but I liked your thoughts none the less. Thanks for making something worth reading.

David "H" October 23, 2010, 5:12 AM

I have always wondered one thing, after hearing all of the “exposes” regrding the “epidemic” of MEN cheating: WHO are they all cheating WITH? (Is every woman in this circumtance, SINGLE and “UNATTACHED”?)

Anonymous October 29, 2010, 4:42 AM

why the hell has a husband to celebrate his wife on mothers day

its your own mother who you have to celebrate, the guy was right, its between the kids and their mother, the husband has to celebrate his own mother if she still lives, not everybodies mother!

Eda Mcneme November 16, 2010, 12:20 PM

my friend gave me this address, thanks Bob

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