Guest blogger Elizabeth Kuster: When I read yesterday that Viagra allegedly causes hearing loss, the first thing that popped into my head was the image of an annoyed wife yelling, "I SAID, 'I'M NOT IN THE MOOD!'" LOL!

It then occurred to me that the list of things that cause hearing loss in men is getting pretty dang long. So far, the list includes:

• Erections in general.
• Seeing a big-boobed blonde (even if she's just on TV).
• Telling them they have to see "Sex and the City 2" with you.
• Seeing a super-sweet ride drive by (a red Ferrari 250 GTO, let's say).
• Taking them to an electronics store.
• Watching sports on TV (and not just football, basketball, baseball and hockey, but also golf, tennis, bowling and even curling).
• A baby crying at 2 AM.
• The washing-machine buzzer.
• The dog barking to go outside.
• Standing in front of them wearing just your underwear, even if your hair's in rollers and you're grumpy and look like sh*t.
• Seeing you bend over to pick up something you dropped.
• You starting a sentence with, "Honey, did you remember to ...."
• Living with a woman for even a semi-long period of time.

Elizabeth Kuster is the author of the popular self-help/humor book, "Exorcising Your Ex: How to Get Rid of the Demons of Relationships Past" (Fireside).