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Sh*t! My Kids Ruined ...

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Bethany Sanders: This is "the strongest visual birth control on the market today," jokes the tag line for the newest Internet sensation, "Sh*t My Kids Ruined." The site is striking a chord with parents who've watched some of their most prized possessions go the way of the garbage can after sticky little fingers found them ... and then ruined them.

Guilty looking boy

SMKR, the anonymous New York-area stay-at-home mom who created the Tumblr site, says she just needed a fun and silly way to blow off steam. She told me via e-mail that her kids, ages 2 and 4, have "ruined a ton of sh*t."

"A couple of incidents have been willful, but most of the ruined sh*t was inadvertent on their part," SMKR wrote. "Back in March, my 2-year-old spilled a quart of black paint in our dining room in an attempt to "help" me with a project. I started the site the next day in an effort to turn my frustration into an opportunity to laugh and commiserate with some buddies."

"Sh*t My Kids Ruined" is meant to be a completely affectionate tribute to those moments when you hear a crash in the other room and then silence, and the first thought in your head is, "What NOW?!" One mom writes of her toddler, "Little did I know she was peeing on the couch while I took this photo." Another mom has posted a picture of the new "artwork" on her ruined white-leather couch. The caption? "Permanent marker, Clearasil zit cream and nail polish. We're so proud."

When I was 9, I lifted up my grandma's chest-freezer to hunt for a Popsicle, completely ignoring the huge watermelon that was sitting on top of it until it rolled away and crashed through a window. My grandma quietly shook her head and cleaned up the glass, then returned the allowance money I sent her a week later with a note that simply said, "I love you." That's the tone that SMKR is taking with her site. She knows that kids are impulsive and do outrageous things to our sh*t, but that we love them anyway.

The site is not all iPods (my kids aren't allowed within 10 feet of mine) and broken dishes, though. Some parents are making a bigger statement about the changes parenthood brings by posting images of stretch-mark-covered bellies and saggy breasts, while others point out that their kids ruined their financial stability, their social life and their ability to go on vacation.

There's a line in the Louden Wainwright III song "Daughter" that says, "Everything she takes she takes apart." Something tells me Wainwright has more than a few pictures she could post on "Shi*t My Kids Ruined."

What's the worst thing your kid ever ruined?


next: Does Being a Woman = Higher Prices?
13 comments so far | Post a comment now
ashley May 13, 2010, 5:06 AM

I have worked my butt off this year trying to make our yard beautiful and it never fails, when one of them or their little friends goes out there they step/pick/annihilate with the water hose, my beautiful if measly(can’t do much with no money!) flowers!!!

KARRIE May 13, 2010, 9:21 AM

My husband and I have been together 8years, we have a 5 and 22month old and we just purchased our FIRST brand new $800 couch together. Well guess who got ahold of a permament marker and colored all over it!!! NEVER FAILS!!!!

Fi May 13, 2010, 10:44 AM

As a new mum to a seven month old and another baby on the way due on the first birthday of my first, I can say the only thing thru have ruined is my belly and bum!

Toned no more (or will I ever be?!)

Everything has gone south but although I know it’ll never return, I wouldn’t change it for the world!

Renae May 13, 2010, 11:49 AM

Holy crap, a white leather couch totally destroyed? I can understand a few dishes or little things, but that’s just crazy. If I had done this as a kid I would’ve had a red bum that’s for sure.

Kelly May 13, 2010, 10:43 PM

Not to be rude, but why would you buy a white leather couch when you have young children??? That’s just asking for disaster.

Cassandra Robinson May 13, 2010, 10:55 PM

When we purchased our home we had light colored faux Berber carpeting throughout the house; when my daughter was just 2-yrs old she pushed a kitchen chair to the counter and climbed up to get a hold of some concentrated blue paint, promptly running into the family room squirting it into the air and dancing in the blue puddle with glee. We now have a very large floor rug in the family room.

marisa May 13, 2010, 10:58 PM

wow I spent way over $800 on my couches way before my son was even born or even thought of got them scotch guarded and they still look brand new… and they are over 6yrs old .. my son broke some wine glasses that were in a tote when I moved no biggie I dont even really drink ne ways

Micaela  May 14, 2010, 11:52 AM

My daughter took a whole can of shaving cream to our brand new couch when she was about 2. My husband just took a picture & walked out. Also, we have photos of her when she was a baby & our carpet & couch are all shiny & clean, & then after mobility, the carpet & couch completely jacked up. We now have hard wood floors, & a hand me down couch.

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