My friends who have been married for decades congratulate me on my wisdom. The gist of their analysis is this: You have a committed man and you don't have to live with him all the time -- brilliant! I still wish he were here, but for now financial circumstances dictate otherwise. In many ways, however, the distance has been good for me. I had always given too much of myself in relationships, effectively losing parts of me in the process. But being apart for long stretches, as we have been, forced me into solid independence, something I definitely needed.
I have created a life I love. I also have the luxury of parenting my children and giving them total attention without worrying about keeping anyone else happy. Meanwhile, I have a wonderful guy that my daughters have gotten to know and love over time.
I'm glad we all had that growing time. I have relished the opportunity of being mom without the added responsibility of wife or live-in partner. I love our all-girl house, it's the best sorority ever. We curl up in bed and watch lame romantic comedies or episodes of Friday Night Lights. We dance, scream, laugh like crazy and don't worry about bothering anyone. We behave badly and good-ly and all ways in between. Someday there will be a man around, and the dance will be different.
Until then, we're rocking the house.