Momlogic's Momstrosity: Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Schools are closed for Memorial Day, but that doesn't mean our jobs shut down. What do you do when your kids are out of school, but Mama's got to work? I have a few ideas:

1) Tell your boss you're a distant relative of Ulysses S. Grant and must honor your Memorial Day family tradition of staying home and reenacting a Civil War battle in the backyard.

2) The day before Memorial Day, keep your kids up all night until you have to go to work. They'll safely sleep the day away under your desk.

3) Bring your children to work disguised as tiny employees. If your coworkers are suspicious, tell them you're training them for their jobs.

4) Sharing is nice. It's what we teach our children. If you have a friend who has a nanny, tell her it's her turn to share -- and that if she doesn't, you're going to pull her hair.

5) Embed a microchip GPS-tracking device under your kids' skin, and let 'em run wild!