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Wedding Dress As Dental Floss??

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Ronda Kaysen: When I think of 101 ways I could use my wedding dress, the terms "pasta strainer," "scarecrow" and "doormat" don't usually come to mind. But then again, I'm not a heartbroken ex-husband whose wife of 12 years walked out on him, leaving only said dress behind.

wedding dress as dental floss

When Kevin's marriage fell apart, he got industrious with the billowy wonder his ex had left hanging in her closet, and launched "My Ex-Wife's Wedding Dress," a website dedicated to the myriad ways he can soil those formerly priceless yards of silk and lace.

So far, whenever Kevin hasn't been busylicking his many wounds orworrying about how his two kids will fare in the divorce, he's been using the frock as a jump rope or a rag to clean exercise equipment or (my personal favorite) dental floss.

The blog is lined with photos of Kevin painting a door frame (with the gown serving as a very expensive drop cloth) and icing his knee with it after a particularly rough day playing ball. The site is surprisingly chipper for a guy who's so clearly heartbroken. It doesn't even take punches at the nameless ex (unless you consider the dress a symbolic punching bag; then it's pretty much a free-for-all).

But since his wife allegedly told him to do "whatever the $%@# you want" with the dress when she stormed out of the house, it seems that she doesn't really care. Or maybe his painfully literal reading of her comment has something to do with the demise of their union.

You've got to give the guy credit: He's certainly made some very funny lemonade out of those lemons, and is even hoping to make a little cash, too. He's peddling his idea as a coffee table book in the hopes that a publisher with a good sense of humor will turn the site into a glossy wonder. And speaking of wonders ... I wonder whose coffee table the book would go on? It certainly wouldn't make for an appropriate wedding gift.

What do you think of Kevin's project? All in good fun ... or does it send the wrong message to his children?

next: Little People, Big Restaurants
111 comments so far | Post a comment now
Samantha  May 20, 2010, 11:36 AM

i think she symbolically left the dress as a slap in his face, so he’s using it to spite her …and i would do the same thing. he’s using it in anyway he can to get a laugh and feel justified for having to look at it. she didn’t have to leave it in front of hi for hi to look at and be reminded of the pain of the divorce, so i think he’s totally justified in using it to symbolically slap her in the face for it.

SS May 20, 2010, 6:28 PM

I love that he’s doing this!

Kai May 30, 2010, 2:45 PM

Whoo! Go Kevin!!

weddings in Boca Raton June 4, 2010, 10:25 AM

Boca Raton is the Mecca of beach weddings, have a look at the posibilities, they are endless.

Chase October 18, 2010, 6:13 PM

So not really on the same topic as your post, but I found this today and I just can’t resist sharing. Mrs. Agathe’s dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told him, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you the check. Oh, and by the way…don’t worry about my Doberman. He won’t bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT under ANY circumstances talk to my parrot!” When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Agathe’s apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest and meanest looking Doberman he had ever seen. But just as she had said, the dog simply laid there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his business. However, the whole time the parrot drove him nuts with his incessant cursing, yelling and name-calling. Finally the repairman couldn’t contain himself any longer and yelled, “Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!” To which the parrot replied, “Get him, Spike!”

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Audio started playing anytime I opened this site, so irritating!

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