Ronda Kaysen: When I think of 101 ways I could use my wedding dress, the terms "pasta strainer," "scarecrow" and "doormat" don't usually come to mind. But then again, I'm not a heartbroken ex-husband whose wife of 12 years walked out on him, leaving only said dress behind.
When Kevin's marriage fell apart, he got industrious with the billowy wonder his ex had left hanging in her closet, and launched "My Ex-Wife's Wedding Dress," a website dedicated to the myriad ways he can soil those formerly priceless yards of silk and lace.
So far, whenever Kevin hasn't been busy licking his many wounds or worrying about how his two kids will fare in the divorce, he's been using the frock as a jump rope or a rag to clean exercise equipment or (my personal favorite) dental floss.
The blog is lined with photos of Kevin painting a door frame (with the gown serving as a very expensive drop cloth) and icing his knee with it after a particularly rough day playing ball. The site is surprisingly chipper for a guy who's so clearly heartbroken. It doesn't even take punches at the nameless ex (unless you consider the dress a symbolic punching bag; then it's pretty much a free-for-all).
But since his wife allegedly told him to do "whatever the $%@# you want" with the dress when she stormed out of the house, it seems that she doesn't really care. Or maybe his painfully literal reading of her comment has something to do with the demise of their union.
You've got to give the guy credit: He's certainly made some very funny lemonade out of those lemons, and is even hoping to make a little cash, too. He's peddling his idea as a coffee table book in the hopes that a publisher with a good sense of humor will turn the site into a glossy wonder. And speaking of wonders ... I wonder whose coffee table the book would go on? It certainly wouldn't make for an appropriate wedding gift.
What do you think of Kevin's project? All in good fun ... or does it send the wrong message to his children?