Last week, we kicked off our Hate Sex Less series.
If you and your man still hump like bunnies after having children, more power to you -- but this is for those women who are too tired, too stressed or too overwhelmed to even THINK about sex after having kids.
Judy Dutton, author of "How We Do It: How the Science of Sex Can Make You a Better Lover," shares the following four tips:
1) To make sex more exciting, spicing up what you do in bed isn't always the answer. Spice up what you do outside the bedroom instead! Rather than going on your typical date night of dinner and a movie, try tango lessons, a Thai cooking class or something else you've never done together. According to various scientific studies, novel activities stimulate the brain's reward system -- the same circuits that get activated when couples first fall in love. So, you're essentially goosing your brain chemistry into making sparks fly anew, which could lead in a more romantic direction at the date's end.
2) Expecting that sex will always be fantastic is unrealistic, and sets you up for disappointment. Instead, keep in mind the 2-6-2 Rule, which says that out of every ten times you have sex, twice it'll be great, six times it'll be so-so and twice it'll be so bad you'll wonder why you bothered. Still, even mediocre sex can bring you closer -- and eventually lead to those two-out-of-ten amazing encounters.
3) If you're too exhausted for sex, take turns giving and receiving. Make a deal that you'll trade off take-charge roles, so the more tired partner (you or him) gets to kick back, relax and just enjoy the ride while the other partner does most of the "heavy lifting." Maybe only one partner has an orgasm, rather than both of you. By making sex more low-maintenance, you make it less of a chore.
4) What you might need to spark your libido isn't novelty, but a return to the basics: Kissing. Eye contact. So many couples abandon these things after they've been together a while, and yet it's exactly these things that can jump-start your enjoyment.
Moms: What do YOU do to hate sex less?