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I Know How You Feel, Kate Gosselin!

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Michelle Kemper Brownlow: Recently, I mommy-vented via a Facebook status update.

kate Gosselin

Within a couple of minutes, I received a whole mom lecture from a fellow writer I have never even spoken to. She felt the need to tell me that she has five kids and that I should stop whining and either make my son listen or be a fun mom.

Firstly, I didn't ask for advice. Secondly, she doesn't know that my child has special needs. Thirdly, she has no idea that I have rolled in the mud with my kids JUST FOR FUN! So who is she to ASSUME all of these things about me?!

Last night when I watched the premiere of "Kate Plus 8," I was reminded of the fact that some women feel they have the right to make assumptions about other moms they don't even know. Kate gets threats on her doorstep. Are you kidding me?! The "glass houses" thing comes to mind ....

I think Kate's life must be sheer HELL at times, due to peers who should be supporting "strong women with opinions," (as Meredith Vieira put it). I was boiling all day over one negative comment; I can't imagine how Kate feels on a day-to-day basis.

Kate Gosselin, I feel your pain -- and it was just one online comment that pissed me off. The fact that you can keep going and not let those attacks bring you down makes me admire you even more! ROCK ON, SISTER!

Assuming moms, if you would start putting your unwarranted advice and judgment-call energy into your own families -- or toward a good cause -- and stop worrying about what everyone else is doing, we would all be much happier!


next: Ken Jeong Gives Shout-Out to Wife Who Survived Breast Cancer
73 comments so far | Post a comment now
Marie June 7, 2010, 1:11 PM

Excellent point. Women have the misconception that because they are mothers, they are the ultimate authority on motherhood and are entitled to pass judgment or give unsolicited advice to any other mother within a hundred-mile radius.

I will say though that having an opinion about certain situations is a completely different thing. Yes, we should always figure out the whole situation before forming an opinion but sometimes the full story is not readily available. The woman giving you advice probably feels strongly about parents who do nothing but complain about their kids, not realizing that your situation was different.

And you do mention that you put it on you fb status? The internet is a dangerous place to put any opinion. So if you’re prepared to post it, and yes you are entitled to post it, you should also be prepared that people will have something to say about it, and yes they are entitled to have something to say.

MixChick June 7, 2010, 2:19 PM

If someone had made that comment about my own experiences not knowing the full extent or realizing that my life is not theirs, I’d be upset as well. It’s sad that people are experts on other’s lives but do nothing to work on his or her own. The amount of hate Kate gets is disgusting. People do not give her the right to go for a dream that she IS attaining. She’s well known and can pull in ratings. Why shouldn’t she have a career on the air? Why should anyone not be able to go after a dream when it’s so within one’s reach and there’s a lot of money to be made. How many public officials, active duty military, doctors/nurses, etc. are away from the family for a good period of time? Do we slam them, too? I see her with her family more than I see other celebs with theirs. Also, I get tired of the pics that people comment on where the kids are doing something like walking and not smiling. If anyone were traveling from one place to another, how many of us would wear a stupid Barbie grin all day? Then, they comment on how the kids smile with their dad. Well, that’s just the pictures they choose to show or comment on. I see plenty where the kids smile around her. In their own words, they like what mom does better than their dad. That was on their own TV show last year. However, they love both parents but hateful people want to see negative in her. Jon was the creep and they treat him like a hero.

Kate, you’re strong, intelligent and beautiful. People will always be jealous or miffed by you and your success. Let it roll off your back. Keep being you. It’s obviously getting you the ratings to keep your name in the spotlight and garner good enough ratings to command your own shows. You’re doing a wonderful job. Don’t let those nasty people with nothing good to say get to you.

mara June 7, 2010, 5:58 PM

Kate is a very strong woman and I back her 100%!!!!!

momfromtx June 7, 2010, 6:33 PM

I don’t share Kate’s pain, because I have no real idea how she really thinks or feels as all that I see is what is put on a scripted reality TV show. I am all for a woman to go out and earn some money. But, what I and I think others get upset about is her saying how broke she is, about to be homeless and poor me is a little hard to stomach when she has nannies, freebies, lives in a very expensive house. How do you afford to pay for your property tax and insurance. Just the bills alone must be outrageous. I like many other mothers are really struggling just to feed our kids. TO keep the lights on. That there are many who make minimum wage and have to support our kids and do not get any child support. Can not afford to take our kids even out of town, much less on nice vacations because we can not afford the gas . We worry about our cars not lasting. Choosing between food and having AC or heat on. Women who are in the armed service and away from their children. So please stop whining about being poor you are not. I would have much more interested if she just quit complaining about her poor life. I don’t know I just wonder how someone who is “broke” can afford so many luxuries. IT would be nice if I could go to the dentist , but that is a luxury. Taking your kids on a vacation is nice, but it is a luxury that a lot of women have never had. Getting your hair done with extensions, free plastic surgery . I am just going on what it is saying here. I know women who have lost their children in combat who I consider strong. But, hey I am all ready to be a host with her on the new show that is up and comming.

Susie June 7, 2010, 8:46 PM

tx, you need to realize that Kate DOESN’T complain about being broke all the time. She made a statement about having bills in her purse she couldn’t pay when Jon took over $200,000 our of the accounts. I’m sure she was broke at that time. Jon had put a stop to the show and Kate wasn’t working.

You act like Kate is living in a castle; she isn’t. She is living in a large, nice home. Not unlike the homes of many of my friends that have “normal” jobs. It isn’t a mansion by any means. While I’m sure the bills are high, she is paying them. When she gets to the point she can’t, I’m sure the house will be sold. And remember, all those trips, her hair extensions and I wouldn’t be surprised if her spa vists were not paid by TLC, not Kate. FGS, she shops at Target.

PeggyP June 7, 2010, 10:16 PM

Michelle-Thank you! Very well said!

Donna June 8, 2010, 4:44 AM

I agree that some women feel they have the right to say ANYTHING they want without knowing the facts. Two examples. I am in the grocery story. My oldest son is tall for his age. At only 2 years old, he looks older because he is tall. He is sitting in the seat of the cart drinking a bottle. OK maybe on the cusp of using a cup full time but not when I in a grocery story OK? A woman marches up to me and tells me “YOU should be ashamed of yourself for letting a child that age drink a bottle!” Stunned I say nothing, glare at her and slink away. I start to fume thinking about it and start looking for her but can’t find her. She has left the market. Who is she to comment? First he is TWO!! Even if he was 4 she has NO RIGHT to say anything!! I would never give unsolicited advice to anyone, especially a STRANGER, on a subject that they have no business commenting on without knowing all the facts. My son was not as old as he looked. Second story. We were at a local town fair, I was carrying my nephew age 3 and he had scrapes on the side of his face from falling off the porch at his home a couple days before. They did look pretty bad but he was fine. He was one of those active kids that you couldn’t take your eyes off of for a second and my sister did. We used to take him for an afternoon just to give her a break she had 3 kids under age 3. I digress. I am carrying the baby in a crowded fair. A women charges me and starts screaming at me. “You should be arrested for abuse. Look at the bruises and scrapes on that child!” And on and on for 2 or 3 minutes. I freaked and yelled at the lady “he fell of the porch!” But the damage was done. You could see it in the eyes of the nearby people. I was convicted of child abuse without anyone knowing he wasn’t my child or the circumstances of his injuries or that this freakazoid woman was a total stranger. Once again I slink away. Some women feel they have the right to be judge and jury of other women. I often find as you said, people in glass houses.. If we looked closely we would probably find something very different from what they say. It is my philosopy to do no damage, make people smile. I am not perfect and neither is anyone else. If everyone remember that we would have a much nicer place to live. Pollyanna views, maybe a bit, but I don’t believe in attacking people for their views or feelings. I may not agree with you, but I will defend your right to have those views. As long as you allow me my views and feelings too without stepping on my toes or beating me up for them (figuratively of course - literally would be a whole different column)

Donna June 8, 2010, 4:44 AM

I agree that some women feel they have the right to say ANYTHING they want without knowing the facts. Two examples. I am in the grocery story. My oldest son is tall for his age. At only 2 years old, he looks older because he is tall. He is sitting in the seat of the cart drinking a bottle. OK maybe on the cusp of using a cup full time but not when I in a grocery story OK? A woman marches up to me and tells me “YOU should be ashamed of yourself for letting a child that age drink a bottle!” Stunned I say nothing, glare at her and slink away. I start to fume thinking about it and start looking for her but can’t find her. She has left the market. Who is she to comment? First he is TWO!! Even if he was 4 she has NO RIGHT to say anything!! I would never give unsolicited advice to anyone, especially a STRANGER, on a subject that they have no business commenting on without knowing all the facts. My son was not as old as he looked. Second story. We were at a local town fair, I was carrying my nephew age 3 and he had scrapes on the side of his face from falling off the porch at his home a couple days before. They did look pretty bad but he was fine. He was one of those active kids that you couldn’t take your eyes off of for a second and my sister did. We used to take him for an afternoon just to give her a break she had 3 kids under age 3. I digress. I am carrying the baby in a crowded fair. A women charges me and starts screaming at me. “You should be arrested for abuse. Look at the bruises and scrapes on that child!” And on and on for 2 or 3 minutes. I freaked and yelled at the lady “he fell of the porch!” But the damage was done. You could see it in the eyes of the nearby people. I was convicted of child abuse without anyone knowing he wasn’t my child or the circumstances of his injuries or that this freakazoid woman was a total stranger. Once again I slink away. Some women feel they have the right to be judge and jury of other women. I often find as you said, people in glass houses.. If we looked closely we would probably find something very different from what they say. It is my philosopy to do no damage, make people smile. I am not perfect and neither is anyone else. If everyone remember that we would have a much nicer place to live. Pollyanna views, maybe a bit, but I don’t believe in attacking people for their views or feelings. I may not agree with you, but I will defend your right to have those views. As long as you allow me my views and feelings too without stepping on my toes or beating me up for them (figuratively of course - literally would be a whole different column)

Baby Mama June 8, 2010, 7:26 AM

Michelle! You always hit the nail on the head. Your such a smart sweet girl. Your thoughts are always exactly what Im feeling about the excessive hate towards Kate Gosselin or any other mom trying to support and raise their kids on their own. If they are not jealous over the freebies, then they need to take their fustrations elsewhere. She does a wonderful job raising her children!
http://gosselinfamilyfansite.blogspot.com

Pamala June 8, 2010, 10:03 AM

So no one has a right to judge or have an opinion on Kate because we don’t know her? Then what’s the damn point of the show? You take what you’re given, and she knows that by the way, and you make judgements based on what you see. If she or you don’t like the judgements being issued, don’t broadcast the issues. It’s pretty simple.

Lucy June 8, 2010, 10:09 AM

Wow this sounds like a mom’s pity party. I am a mother too but don’t forget Kate Gosselin is a public figure and she will be judged and scrutinized. That’s what every celebrity has to face. If she can’t take it then stop complaining and choose another career. It’s that simple.

Helen June 8, 2010, 8:27 PM

How nice that someone gives Kate Gosselin a break? Thank you for pointing out the fact that Kate has the right to raise and manage her household as she deems best. And she does have an awareness of what is best…certainly we behind computer screens have no right to direct her on that! She gets such trashy comments from ugly posters and yet she carries on with grace and dignity, never lashing out at these naysayers! The lady has my respect and admiration!

Michelle Kemper Brownlow June 9, 2010, 4:27 AM

I am SO thrilled to see all the support for Kate.
I will be doing a post each week after the show on my blog. I’m calling it KATE*VERSATIONS and I will be focussing on what we (as moms) can learn from Kate from each episode…strength, conviction, consistent discipline, etc.
Check out the 1st post here…

http://michellekemperbrownlowwrites4kids.blogspot.com/2010/06/kate-8-series-premier-and-kateversation.html

Monica June 9, 2010, 10:31 AM

To those who feel it is a-ok to make judgments and share your negative opinions, I ask you to reflect on these words:

Is it True?
Is it Kind?
Is it Necessary?

If you can’t answer “yes” to all three, I ask you to reconsider whether you need to share your negativity. Speaking for myself, I always feel bad after the fact when I abandon these principles (which I do plenty - I am human.)

Anyway, rock on, Kate. You have a lot of people in your corner.

sew mom June 9, 2010, 9:09 PM

I agree. Usually the finger pointers are ignoring the elephant in the room of their own life and need something else to focus on.

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