Bruce Sallan: I just read a provocative New York Times piece by Camille Paglia entitled, "No Sex Please, We're Middle Class," which struck this man as very true and very sad. Have we sunk to androgynous roles as men and women? Are we (you?) having less sex? Are we men falling down on our jobs when it comes to making "it" happen?
Without going into my own bedroom habits (since my wife would NOT appreciate it), I can only speculate about others. And my speculation is, there's much truth in the fact that our lives are so equal, so focused on work and family, that sex often gets put on the back burner -- behind the kids' needs, our social networking, work we take home and more.
I can admit a sordid fact of my own, and that is: My wife is often correctly critical of all the time I spend on the computer. We both dislike using "absolutes," and we both do it way too much. However, while I'm not on the computer "all" the time, I am on it too much of the time. And she's often doing household things that she claims relax her, though afterward she is "always" tired.
I love this quote from Paglia's article: "Meanwhile, family life has put middle-class men in a bind; they are simply cogs in a domestic machine commanded by women. Contemporary moms have become virtuoso super-managers of a complex operation focused on the care and transport of children." While Paglia's ignoring the households wherein dads are the primary caregivers, I think she's right on with that point.
She even claims that contemporary movies and music have diminished the foreplay between us. While she didn't actually use the word "foreplay," I think that was her point. If we just see couples "doing it" and there's no lead-up, no romance, no anticipation -- just sex -- then where's the real heat and anticipation coming from?
But hey, what do I know? I'm just a guy.