Too tired and stressed for sex? Us, too. In our fourth installment of "Hate Sex Less," the author of "The Mominatrix's Guide to Sex" gives us her top passion pointers.
Kristen Chase: After being climbed on and grabbed at by their little ones, it's no surprise that moms aren't that into getting the same treatment from their partners. If you seem to be able to make time for a vaginal exam from your OB but not your spouse, here are a few ideas that may help you hate sex less:
1) Sex isn't always about, um, sex. Sometimes just infusing the idea of sex -- not even the actual act itself -- back into your existence can help get your engine running. Anything from getting a new bra to wearing a thong to just getting out of the house (either alone or with your partner) can be foreplay for many women.
2) Give yourself a jump-start. It's true that sending libido-challenged moms off to buy a sex toy might be a little cliche, but if you don't start the car for a while, the battery is going to go dead. Same goes for you, ladies. Grab something that vibrates and remind yourself about what you're missing. And if toys aren't your thing, a little sexy viewing or reading (a la porn and erotic romance novels) can be just as effective. That is, if you can stay awake through them ....
3) It's all in your head. Not his. (Ahem.) Moms have the ability to talk themselves out of anything, so why not use the same M.O. and talk yourself into it? He doesn't care that it's a fat-thigh day or that you have yogurt in your hair. And while you might, sometimes you just have to plow through and get over it. Think about the few minutes you spend plucking your eyebrows or cleaning out the toilet, and ask yourself why you can't spend that same amount of time on your sex life.