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5 Reasons I Don't Want a Pot Dispensary in My 'Hood

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Momlogic's Momstrosity: What are you likely to see on the streets if you visit Los Angeles? Celebrities? Yeah ... maybe. But there's a better chance that you'll see about a zillion marijuana dispensaries.


Today, about 400 unauthorized pot dispensaries were shut down -- and I swear most of them were in my neighborhood. Unfortunately, there's a chance that many might be able to open again. Don't get me wrong: Back in the day, I enjoyed myself a nice spliff now and then -- but that doesn't mean I want my street to be known as "Cannabis Lane." Here's why.

1) It's too sad watching all of those 20-somethings in so much pain.
It's SO weird: The only people I see waiting to get their scripts filled are young, vibrant men and women -- sometimes arriving by skateboard and plugged into their iPods. Not little old ladies with glaucoma, or cancer patients.I had no idea that being a hipster was so painful.

2) I don't want to have to deal with a stoned preschooler. When walking with my 4-year-old, I don't want her to get baked from the secondhand pot smoke that barrels out every time the door of the dispensary swings open.Ever seen a preschooler high? I haven't, either -- but I bet it would involve her tripping out on her Polly Pockets and eating twice her weight in graham crackers.

3) If I wanted to live in Amsterdam, I'd move there. When I was going over my list of must-haves before we bought our house, it didn't include eat-in kitchen, walk-in closets, good schools and a proximity to killer bud.

4) I like to window-shop without security guards. Dispensaries usually appear in locations with a fair amount of foot traffic. To protect their cash crop, owners of pot stores have to employ troops of rent-a-cops -- and these dudes usually look more menacing than the thieves they're attempting to deter. Nothing like picking up a quart of milk in a quasi-police state!

5) Because one day I'd like to hear this commercial tagline: "Pot, available EVERYWHERE!!" Rather than having clusters of pot palaces masquerading as pharmacies (for the convenience of people who REALLY DO NEED medical marijuana), howsabout we just legalize the stuff?

next: Cynthia McFadden's 11-Year-Old Son Has Been to 30 Countries
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Car crash statistics are lame. We could so easily have an automated roadway that would be infinitely safer than current state of our roadways, but I’m of the opinion that the oil industry has thwarted these efforts because the average consumer revels in affluence. the words power and freedom.

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