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5 Reasons I Don't Want a Pot Dispensary in My 'Hood

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Momlogic's Momstrosity: What are you likely to see on the streets if you visit Los Angeles? Celebrities? Yeah ... maybe. But there's a better chance that you'll see about a zillion marijuana dispensaries.

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Today, about 400 unauthorized pot dispensaries were shut down -- and I swear most of them were in my neighborhood. Unfortunately, there's a chance that many might be able to open again. Don't get me wrong: Back in the day, I enjoyed myself a nice spliff now and then -- but that doesn't mean I want my street to be known as "Cannabis Lane." Here's why.

1) It's too sad watching all of those 20-somethings in so much pain.
It's SO weird: The only people I see waiting to get their scripts filled are young, vibrant men and women -- sometimes arriving by skateboard and plugged into their iPods. Not little old ladies with glaucoma, or cancer patients. I had no idea that being a hipster was so painful.

2) I don't want to have to deal with a stoned preschooler. When walking with my 4-year-old, I don't want her to get baked from the secondhand pot smoke that barrels out every time the door of the dispensary swings open. Ever seen a preschooler high? I haven't, either -- but I bet it would involve her tripping out on her Polly Pockets and eating twice her weight in graham crackers.

3) If I wanted to live in Amsterdam, I'd move there. When I was going over my list of must-haves before we bought our house, it didn't include eat-in kitchen, walk-in closets, good schools and a proximity to killer bud.

4) I like to window-shop without security guards. Dispensaries usually appear in locations with a fair amount of foot traffic. To protect their cash crop, owners of pot stores have to employ troops of rent-a-cops -- and these dudes usually look more menacing than the thieves they're attempting to deter. Nothing like picking up a quart of milk in a quasi-police state!  

5) Because one day I'd like to hear this commercial tagline: "Pot, available EVERYWHERE!!" Rather than having clusters of pot palaces masquerading as pharmacies (for the convenience of people who REALLY DO NEED medical marijuana), howsabout we just legalize the stuff?


next: Cynthia McFadden's 11-Year-Old Son Has Been to 30 Countries
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