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13 Foods to Never, Ever, Ever Let Your Kids Eat

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It never stops: Every week, we find out about more foods that shouldneverbe allowed near our children ... or any human, for that matter.

10 Foods to Never, Ever Let Your Kids Eat

Hot Beef Sundae

Wracking your brains trying to figure out a way to get your kid to contribute to the childhood obesity epidemic? It's easy! Buy 'em a Hot Beef Sundae: A bowl filled with buttery mashed potatoes, roast beef, beef gravy, and cheddar cheese, topped off with a ripe red cherry tomato.

Liquid Cereal

Kids bugging you for breakfast in the morning? Tell 'em to pop open a can ofLiquid Cereal and get off your back. This bizarre food/drink item claims to be "a combination of real cereal and fat-free milk blended into a satisfying beverage." Mmm, breakfast never tasted so darn refreshing, right? Wrong.

iHop Whoville Pancakes

Would you serve your kid cake for breakfast? Probably not. So why, why on earth would you order the iHop Whoville Pancakes? This pile of sugar and carbs was served at iHop to commemorate the movie release of "Horton Hears a Who!" More like "Horton Hears an Artery Bursting."

Chicken Nuggets

This is chicken. Sad but true. It's the result of mechanically separating chicken. It ends up as one of the main ingredients in the kid fave, chicken nuggets. You have been warned.


A yummy combination of diglycerides, maltodextrin, and beef fat. Combos Nacho Cheese Pretzel and Pepperoni Pizza Crackers incorporate all the most lethal junk food kids love into one handy snack. An easy way to make sure you're dropping the ball on your kid's nutrition ... one bag at a time.

Mess with Your Mouth Lunchables

This is what happens when you let wieners take over your company. Oscar Myer's Lunchables "Mess with Your Mouth" edition comes with a packet of Sour Tongue Teasing Fizz -- essentially a Pop Rocks kind of additive that kids sprinkle in their mouths along with their cheese and crackers. No word on whether Sour Tongue Teasing Fizz is a gateway drug.

Caffeinated Chips

Kids are hyperactive balls of misguided energy. Why on earth would you serve them anything that would hop them up more than usual? Engobi describes their "Energy Go Bites" as HIGHLY caffeinated chips. Really? Will Engobi stay up with the kids when they're bouncing off the walls from "Cinnamon Surge" and "Lemon Lift"?

Chicken in a Can

Kid: What's for dinner tonight, Mom?Mom: How about chicken in a can? Kid: Yeah!! I'll get the can opener!! An entire 50 oz. chicken shoved in a can. 'Nuff said.

Miley Cyrus Candy

Forget about the fact that this candy looks suspiciously like something else. Rather, focus on the fact that Hannah Montana has her own candy. Two things that should never go together.

Sunny Delight

Sunny D apparently gets a "D" for nutritional value -- according to Children'sHealth Magazine, 16 ounces of the drink has all the nutritional value of a dozen Chips Ahoy cookies.


The deliciousness of a sandwich with the convenience of a can? Huh??! The Candwich comes in three flavors: peanut butter and strawberry jam, peanut butter and grape jam, and, if you have a death wish, BBQ Chicken. Crack open a can of sandwich!

Hot Cheetos and Cheese

A student at a California school took it upon himself to expose his cafeteria for serving food with almost zero nutritional value (unless, that is, you think a bag of hot Cheetos covered with cheese is a healthy school lunch choice.)

Cookie Breakfast Cereal

Cookie Crisp attempts to recreate "the great taste of chocolate chip cookies and milk." Yum! But beware: if your kids continue on this nutritional pathone day enjoying they might be enjoying the great taste of drip IV after being hospitalized for their first coronary.

next: 10 Reasons Tami Taylor Is the Mom I Want To Be
25 comments so far | Post a comment now
mickey July 25, 2010, 6:07 AM

omg that’s really messed up and disgusting

Anonymous August 9, 2010, 9:00 AM

Wow, some of these foods I have never ever heard of. Things have become more instant then they already were.
Reminds me when the Jetson’s cartoon characters only had to take a pill for their nutrional needs. Sounds like we are getting closer to that being a reality some day.

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