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5 Reasons to Hate Sex Less

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Carin Goldstein, MFT: Whether you're a working mom or a stay-at-home mom, "mommyhood" is a 24-hour juggling act allowing for little downtime and relaxation. Therefore, getting in the mood for a "sexy time" doesn't happen easily. Here are five truths that will inspire you to "get busy" with your man -- and (hopefully) hate sex less:

couple in bed

1) Sex has a positive trickle-down effect.
The more you have, the more you want! It's how our brains are wired.

2) Goodbye, Prozac; hello, sex.
Research has shown that having an active sex life reduces depression and anxiety.
3) Sex is the ultimate natural high.
When you reach orgasm, oxytocin (the bonding hormone) is released, and an amnesic effect takes over -- which can last for up to five hours. Not too shabby!

4) Sex makes your body firmer.
Regular sex can tighten up your tummy and tush, plus improve posture. 

5) Regular sex will get you a husband who worships the ground you walk on.
It is a biological fact that most men connect and bond through touch (read: physical affection); therefore, regular sex will make your man feel closer to you emotionally, and he'll subsequently be more attentive and more focused on YOUR needs! Now, what wife/mother wouldn't like that?!

For more from Carin, check out

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10 comments so far | Post a comment now
Anonymous July 5, 2010, 12:50 PM

I don’t think it works to decide to have sex because you should. I think it makes more sense to remember that sex is fun. If you’re too tired to want it, something in your life needs to change, not something in you.

South Ga Janitorial  July 5, 2010, 11:34 PM

Those five steps makes sense but being a busy mom myself when i go to bed I’m ready for sleep how do you make that go away? And sex is the last thing on my mind.

Walter July 8, 2010, 6:36 PM

I’m tired, your tired. Come on, it’s probably only five minutes more till sleep time, and you WILL feel better before you go to sleep. I do.

Beverly July 9, 2010, 2:22 AM

SEX… I love it and I have always enjoyed making love to my man and showing him how much I love him and how much he is appreciated. I too was falling in the “I HATE SEX” routine because I was too tired from being a mom and working woman. But it wasn’t fair to my husband. Men DO LIKE the attention, it makes them feel good and I really don’t think they ask for too much, do you or is that a entirely different subject :) Make a date night, have someone watch the kids for a couple of hours, book a hotel room (I always find hotel rooms for some reason are more fun and romantic), whatever it takes to show your other half how much you love and appreciate them. Another thing to do, if you can, be playful with your other half during the day if you can. Both work, send him a quick email asking how is day is or have a secret “I want you” code so when you send him an email only he understands, this might get your juices flowing. Too tired at night, morning sex is wonderful… LOVE IT… I am not expert, but I am 48 years young and have two grown children, one still lives at home and it is very hard to find time for ourselves, believe me, plus I am a grandma, but we do. Because you have to have “US” time or your marriage might be doomed. This comment is not to hurt anyone in any way and I hope it makes sense to at least one person besides myself.

Samantha July 20, 2010, 6:45 PM

Sex is incredibly important in a relationship! Often times many people find themselves in a rut regardless of how long the relationship has lasted. Everone absolutely needs at least one of these!!
Check it out and add a little fun to your sex life.

Mochachic August 5, 2010, 10:37 AM

I agree with Janitorial when my hubby gets home I’m ready to hand baby over and fall into bed but I stop myself and consider his needs and how sex brings us closer and is healthy for our relationship

karina August 13, 2010, 10:07 PM

i am a working mother my fiance stays home with our baby all day until i get home which is like mid night, and by the time i get home from work and want to enjoy each others company or just have sex he is the one who says no to me. what can i do for our sex life to be better and adventures with out no excuses?

Rob January 17, 2011, 3:54 PM

Sex is a robotic chore for my wife. After years of trying to fix this, I’ve given up. She allows me zero control of our sex life, so I do the one thing I can: repress my own sex drive. It’s the only control I have left.

About two or three times a year, when she remembers to give me my ration of intimacy, then it’s my turn to react with apathy. Sometimes - and this is my favorite - I’ll make myself go limp during sex, just to demonstrate to her how bad at it she is. “It’s okay honey, we can just cuddle.” Ha! She feels so worthless!

Living Personification February 17, 2011, 9:28 PM

1) The more sex I had in Life, the more I hated it.
2) Sex deepened my depression, distanced me from others and made me hate women as a subspecie, with a deep, abiding hatred.
3) Yes to this one…but, my orgasms are 98% as good, when I masturbate. Another human isn’t worth the bull it takes in dealing with them, to get to the same point.
4) If your body ain’t firm comin’ to bed, honey, I could care less how you look *after* the workout. Because, there won’t be one. Gyms are *not* that expensive.
5) I covered this one already. I hate sex. Keep bugging me, I’ll hate You. And more, every time you bug me. Stop being an animal. Start showing you Love him.
Conclusion: This article is bull. It tells us that everybody likes the same thing, just because the writer and the majority are swayed by group thinking. In short, as Bill Maher would say (and that man LOVES Sex!), “It’s sanity by consensus.”
Some of us think sex is awful. Your reasons aren’t compelling.

Nat March 6, 2011, 3:48 PM

The 5 reasons mentioned in the beginning are just plain nuts. Married 40 plus years I found sex terrible. I thought married people are really suppose to do this. So to please myself I just stopped sex that was 30 years ago. Best thing to ever happen. Wife hates me but thats to bad, she could have moved on but didn’t. We show no affection for each other or intimacy what ever.

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