Stepbomb: Have you ever thought you were doing something fantastic, but it turned out to be a freakin' disaster? Well, that was me when I naively stepped foot onto the linoleum floor of my stepchildren's school. Now, I want you to picture Linda Blair in "The Exorcist." Well, that was my husband's ex-wife when she saw me signing up to volunteer in the children's classrooms.
When my husband asked me to attend the orientation night at the school because he was going to be out of town, I jumped at the chance. It would give me an opportunity to get acquainted with the children's teachers, the principal and the other parents -- and to sign up to volunteer, which would be a great thing, right? WRONG. Who knew that my wanting to go on a field trip to a petting zoo would send my husband's ex into a tailspin that made Lindsay Lohan's fall from the A-list to the D-list look tame?!
What happened next was enough to make me feel I'd just moved to the Seventh Circle of Hell, not the 'burbs. First? The ex did a slow drive-by of my house that was reminiscent of a scene from "Boyz N the Hood." (Thankfully, no Uzi was produced.) Next? A threatening letter from the law offices of F-U, F-U and F-U Some More was sent to the school, suggesting that I should not be allowed to volunteer there. Last? A voicemail that would make Andrew Dice Clay blush.
I did end up volunteering in the school. Maybe it's just me, but the ex's threats and bullying tactics didn't motivate me to want to empathize with her feelings of insecurity. The next time she has "concerns" about my involvement in the children's lives, I hope that instead of retaining a lawyer, she'll try a tactic I'll respond to: actually talking to me.
"Stepbomb" is a new weekly column on momlogic.com, written by a new stepmom. Check in next Wednesday for the next installment.