Ronda Kaysen:†Add this to the long list of dangers threatening the great institution of marriage: solo sleeping arrangements. The New York Times weighed in on the phenomenon of American couples sleeping solo with a how-to guide for getting your hubby back in the bedroom.
But before we can get into how to get your main squeeze back between the sheets, we have to do a recap on this supposed trend, which has gotten so mainstream that even Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have their own boudoirs. If you're gasping at the thought of Brangelina sleeping apart, rest assured that they also have a giant bed for mom, dad and all six kids to share.
The supposed reason for all this separate sleeping is that Americans have finally come to realize that sleep is a priority -- which makes me wonder what it was considered before couples started custom-building separate master bedrooms.†Dr. Meir Kryger, a sleep specialist at Gaylord Hospital in Connecticut, told the Times,†"What happened in the last decade is that people are suddenly making their own sleep a priority. If their rest is being impaired by their partner, the attitude now is ... 'I don't have to put up with this.'"
People are done with tossing and turning, excessive snoring and battling it out over who gets the comforter. But Bruce Feiler at the Times is deeply concerned about guest rooms turning into daddy's room.†"We need a campaign," he writes. "One of those national initiatives politicians are always calling for. 'The War on Bed Divorce,' call it, or 'Brush Up on Your Bediquette.' Thirty-five years after 'Save the Whales,' it's time for 'Save the Sheets.'"
And how do we go about saving the shared bed? Remind people that sleeping together is good for you. For one thing, you get more sex (always nice), and if by chance you have a catastrophic health emergency at 2 AM, you're likely to have someone present to notice.
Feiler has other tips, such as: Make your bed (which bodes ill for the sloppy housekeepers). Throw in a red pillow or bedsheet to spice things up. "Choreograph" your sleeping arrangements so no one ends up facing a snorer's snout.
All these suggestions are fine and dandy, but it does make me wonder how many people we're actually talking about here. Just because In Touch†mentioned a few celebs with funky sleeping arrangements doesn't mean we're all sleeping apart.
And, I do wonder if the reasons that Feiler touts (BlackBerry addiction, a different preference of temperatures, kids in the bed) are the real reasons couples are sleeping apart. The only couples I know with separate bedrooms are those who no longer like each other. Granted, this is a totally unscientific sampling, but I'm not convinced that there's a trend of happily married folks sleeping in separate bedrooms because of conflicting yoga schedules.
Weigh in, moms: How many of you have separate bedrooms, and do you wish you and your husband were sleeping together again, or are you thrilled with the arrangement?