Stepbomb: When my husband and I were still dating long-distance, I'd only visit him on the weekends he had his daughters, because my relationship with them was just as important as my relationship with him. During that time, there was many a suburban soccer game, and we'd all sit on the sidelines and cheer together -- my future hubby and me, and the ex and her husband. Because back then, the ex had accepted me -- or so I thought.
And then my future hubby and I got engaged.
So I'm sure you can imagine my surprise when, smack in the middle of our battle over custody, the ex wanted us all to sit together -- just like old times -- at the kids' school talent show.
A million thoughts came to mind:
I'd rather watch a "Jersey Shore" marathon while having my fingernails peeled off.
I'd get more pleasure out of having my entire body waxed -- one hair at a time.
Didn't she just send me a hateful e-mail ... yesterday?
The rational, levelheaded side of me wanted to say, "Anything for the kids!" But admittedly, my more emotional side argued that maybe this wasn't about the children. Maybe the ex simply wanted the "other moms" to think we were all chummy (because at that time, no one knew about "the battle").
And the kids knew their mom didn't like me. She'd already put them in the middle by telling them I was trying to replace her, and now she wanted to confuse them even more by rubbing elbows with me in the school auditorium?
But I was still torn.
In the end, my husband and I decided that we'd cross the "sitting together" bridge after the custody situation was resolved. So we sat on one side of the auditorium, and the ex and her husband sat on the other. Did the kids care that we weren't all sitting together? I don't know. But were they happy we were all there? Absolutely.