twitter facebook stumble upon rss

Fantasia 'Heals' in Public?

sign up for the momlogic newsletter Tweet This

Dr. Wendy Walsh: Just two weeks after a suicide attempt, "American Idol"-winner Fantasia Barrino is back at work. Her recent appearance on "Lopez Tonight" was a mix of showmanship and downright honesty about her ordeal. She talked about a hospital nurse who inspired her get up out of bed and fulfill her destiny, and a stint in a group-therapy home where she vented and vented. The theme that kept cropping up as an explanation for her desperation was the pressure to look good, talk well, sing well and survive the criticism that comes with celebrity life. It was a lesson to all of us who blog and comment about public figures. Even celebrities read their own press, and underneath the glitzy facade is a human heart and a vulnerable psyche.

Fantasia Barrino

Fantasia is relatively new to fame, and was probably shocked by the underside of Hollywood. Perhaps the hardest lesson that people new to the limelight learn is the true legal definition of "public figure". As soon as one morphs from common stranger to public person, he or she becomes fair game and a de facto role model -- whether that is welcome or not. 

There are two possible defenses against the onslaught of negative (read: envious) energy. One is to grow an alligator skin and become immune to criticism. This isn't the best route. Some people even enter the business with a defective layer in the form of narcissism. Narcissistic people don't care what anyone else thinks and are hell-bent on grabbing the limelight at all costs. In truth, people living with true narcissistic personality disorder probably came from highly critical parenting, and the false personality that they create is designed to suppress deep feelings of self-loathing. Blocking out criticism is learned narcissism, and can become just as dangerous to intimate relationships. It's different from processing criticism, considering it and then digging into one's vat of self-esteem to decide if you really need to change or not. Narcissists can't tolerate that kind of internal stocktaking.

A far better way to deal with the enormous pressures of the entertainment business is to be open and vulnerable -- the route that Fantasia seems to be taking. When people hide their feelings, they open themselves up to speculation and gossip, but honesty and vulnerability is usually rewarded with respect.

Having said that, I'm a little worried that Fantasia is "coming out" too soon after her trauma. It takes months to work through all the feelings that can lead a mother to such depression that she attempts suicide. My concern is that her anxiety was originally caused by a tendency to be "externally defined" rather than "internally defined," and I'm not sure anyone can make that kind of switch in two weeks.

Kudos to Fantasia, the ultimate extrovert, for bravely bleeding for us in public. But I hope she surrounds herself with love and support to shore her up when the next wave of negativity slams her.


next: Divorce Dialogues: 'If You Can't Fix It, Get Out Quickly'
199 comments so far | Post a comment now
HeeHee August 31, 2010, 9:00 AM

She’s yesterday’s news.

hers ar download movie September 11, 2010, 8:02 PM

Hiya, I was reading another issue about this on an additional blog. Interesting. Your perspective on it’s diametrically contradicted from what I read earlier. I’m nonetheless pondering from the opposite points of view, but I’m leaning to a excellent extent toward yours. And irrespective, that is what is so perfect about modern-day democracy and also the industry of ideas online.

Treatment for Hemorrhoid November 27, 2010, 4:20 PM

Nice reading. Thanks, looking forward to your feed updates…

Marbella apartments December 10, 2010, 5:04 AM

Excellent website. Thank you, you describe the topic very well

Get Rich Quick December 16, 2010, 10:20 AM

Wow! That is the very first time that I saw an individual create such an incredible write-up on that given topic. I actually enjoy your efforts! Preserve on doing these a great task mate!

genuine thomas sabo charms December 20, 2010, 4:48 PM

You raise many queries in my thoughts; you wrote an excellent article, but this articlee is also thought provoking, and I am going to need to ponder it a bit more; I will be back soon.

Drug rehab December 28, 2010, 8:23 PM

There are nearly as many definitions of alcoholism as there are those who write or lecture on the subject. Why bother to define? There are many reasons.

Claribel Simpson December 31, 2010, 2:20 PM

You completed a number of nice points there. I did a search on the theme and found a good number of folks will consent with your blog.

Marissa Smith December 31, 2010, 7:45 PM

Thanks for the great post! I will be sure to subscribe to your updates from now on.

Korey Hurlock January 7, 2011, 1:04 PM

Very useful site. Great post, finally a decent website with good information in it.

Ten Tees January 8, 2011, 2:32 PM

Good post. Good reading. I have a observation to offer about funny shirts.

Baby Room Themes January 16, 2011, 6:43 PM

I would like to thank you for the effort you have made in publishing this post. Your writing has me eager to start my own webblog now. Thanks again for taking the time to put this online.

Tyler Fanning January 19, 2011, 1:22 AM

Nice info. Thanks, very useful indeed…

Tobias Quang February 6, 2011, 7:44 AM

I am always looking online for ideas that can help me. Thanks!

Blair Taj February 20, 2011, 8:03 PM

Keep functioning ,fantastic job!

Antione Huxford February 23, 2011, 11:52 PM

There is evidently a bundle to identify about this. I feel you made certain nice points in features also.

girls hot February 25, 2011, 4:06 PM

If you could message me with any tips on how you made your site look this cool , I would be thankful!

Erektionsprobleme February 26, 2011, 10:10 AM

I is going to be back on a typical foundation for new subjects.

program tv February 27, 2011, 1:42 AM

Awesome post once again. Thumbs up.

program telewizyjny February 27, 2011, 5:59 AM

My brother recommended I might like this website. He was totally right. This post actually made my day. You can not imagine just how much time I had spent for this info! Thanks!


Leave a reply:



(not displayed)

     




Avoid clicking "Post" more than once
Back to top >>
advertisement