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Put More Laughter into Your Family Life!

by dr. wendy walsh  posted Tuesday, August 24, 2010
filed under: dr. wendy walsh
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Dr. Wendy Walsh: Recently, an acquaintance was served a form of cancer that no one orders. Katie's the best friend of a friend of mine, and I've met her just a few times. So it's with unearned intimacy that I find myself erupting into uncomfortable giggles about her cancer -- well, not her cancer per se. The catalyst is a series of e-mail updates that her circle is sending around. See, Katie and her husband are actors, and their acerbic wit is a treat to read. I find myself delightfully smirking about nose tubes, upside-down cell phones that lead callers to believe that Katie's voice is gone and a loony day-nurse who should be admitted to a certain ward herself. And somehow I know that this humor is helping Katie get through her ordeal.

family laughing
Sigmund Freud, the father of modern psychology, was the first to point out that humor is a healthy defense against pain. Katie would want me to make it clear here that Freud meant emotional pain, because her post-surgery stomach is positively aching with the pain of laughing so hard. The science is this: A couple of things happen when tragedy turns to comedy. First, we reframe our problems, looking at them from a perspective that is far less depressing. Then, as we laugh at the absurdity of our situation, happy hormones are released and we actually feel better.�

Take the example of Kim Henderson, a mom whose Army husband, Roger, is stationed in South Korea. The distance is a hardship that many families couldn't tolerate. But Kim has started a new tradition with her two small children -- one that involves something as silly as Hallmark.com's new "hoops&yoyo Cards With Sound." Each e-card is packed with family-friendly jokes recorded in the silly voices of the hoops&yoyo characters. The kids use the laughter to connect with Dad, whose spirits are staying high. For this family, using humor to connect makes the pain of separation a tad bit lighter.�

So, how can every family inject a little humor into their lives? Well, it starts with a mindset. We have to look at life in the quirky way that a comedian does. For instance, yesterday my kids were home alone for a few hours. (The law says it's OK when kids are 12 or over, and my kids are very responsible.) My concern wasn't their safety; it was the state my house would be in when I returned. So as I pulled into my garage, I told myself to expect the worst and to find it funny. Rather than yelling at my kids, I made a secret plan to keep their spirits high by putting on hip-hop music (gasp!) and dancing around while cleaning up. And it worked! I laughed about their bad housekeeping skills, and they laughed at my terrible dancing. I admit: Looking at the four empty ice-cream bowls (evidence of what had constituted their lunch!) was a bit challenging, but I managed to laugh it off -- and I served extra broccoli for dinner.

In the end, humor is all in our heads. It's just a matter of focusing on the absurdity of our troubles.


next: An Open Letter to Tiger Woods
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