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Is a Stay-at-Home Dad the New 'Trophy Wife'?

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momlogic's Julie: Marie Claire and "Today" report that having a househusband may be "the ultimate status symbol for the successful professional woman." Are you buying it?


My husband is a stay-at-home dad, and I feel incredibly lucky that he is able to be there for our children. Like the doctor in the "Today" show segment said, I don't have to worry about daycare or minimum days or anything else that most working parents have to deal with. But I don't think I have ever seen my husband as a "status symbol." I am blessed that he is there for me and my kids -- he cooks all the meals, packs my lunch and takes care of every last detail. I am spoiled, without a doubt. But do I flaunt him like a "trophy wife"? Of course not! That is incredibly insulting and demeans what he does day in and day out. He is more than eye candy -- he is my life partner. I couldn't be more proud of him, but I certainly don't objectify him or flaunt him to make myself feel better!

What do you think of this theory? Do you think stay-at-home dads are the new "trophy wives"?


next: Divorce Dialogues: 'I Wasn't Married to the Right Person'
7 comments so far | Post a comment now
Chris Routly (Daddy Doctrines) August 10, 2010, 6:51 PM

Perhaps it’s true for SOME women that their husband being able to stay home is a status symbol, but I suspect it’s a very small percentage, and of one “kind” of professional woman.

I’m a SAHD, and I totally recognize that, for a lot of families, our choosing for me to stay home with our son while my wife works is a “luxury” that many can’t afford. Ours isn’t a situation where she makes SO MUCH MONEY from her job that my not bringing in money as well isn’t an issue though.

This choice demanded — and continues to demand — sacrifices of other “luxuries” that dual income houses probably take for granted, and that I know we’d love to have: a TV made in the 21st century, cell phones a step above the ones that come free with your plan, a newer (or even a second?) car, a larger home.

It’s not about status symbols, it’s about priorities, and for us having one parent home is a higher priority than whatever other “luxuries” we miss out on.

Anonymous August 11, 2010, 8:15 AM

I don’t think that it’s a status issue. I know more and more moms who are working but a know a lot more dads who have lost their jobs and being a sahd is what is working best for them at this time.

unknown mom August 12, 2010, 7:47 AM

I am a working mother with a SAHD at home. I think it is awesome to have him at home. I don’t have to worry about someone else raising my kids. What upsets me the most about it is the way other people look down on him because he is not the bread winner. In my situation I don’t make a lot of money. In fact I make very little money, and yes to have him working would be nice because then we would be able to afford the luxury items in life, but honestly, I would rather him be home. When people start in on him about how he does not work I always ask “If I was staying home and he was working would you feel the same way?” The answer is always no. Why is it that our society thinks the man has to be the one to bring home the bacon? I don’t consider him to be a trophy or anything like that. I consider him to be one of the greatest assets in my life. I am proud that he can stay home and take care of the kids. I am proud that he is a big part of their lives. So to those that dog on the stay at home dad’s just remember if the couple in question is not complaining…Why are you?

kEN vIVA August 12, 2010, 6:15 PM

I guess I am a “Trophy Husband?” Ha!
That is too funny!
The video has some truths, however and I agree with most of it.
Ken
http://www.memoirsofastayathomedad.com

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