Ronda Kaysen: A turkey baster is a bad substitute for love -- or so says Andrea Peyser of the New York Post. The perpetually cranky columnist is red-hot mad at Jennifer Aniston for suggesting that a single woman won't necessarily ruin her life if she chooses to have a baby solo.
Describing Aniston as "the world's most famous childless divorcee," Peyser appears to have been irked mainly by some comments Aniston made while promoting her latest film, "The Switch" -- a movie about a woman who becomes a single mom by choice.
"Women are realizing more and more that you don't have to settle," Aniston, 41, recently told reporters. "They don't have to fiddle with a man to have that child."
Peyser was mortified. "As if 'fiddling' with a man was vaguely unpleasant. Like bedbugs. Or flying coach," she rails.
No, I don't think that's exactly what Aniston meant. I think she meant that single women are realizing that just because they haven't found "Mr. Right" by the time their biological clock starts to go into overdrive, that doesn't mean they have to give up motherhood.
Aniston also said, "The point of the movie is, what is it that defines family? It isn't necessarily the traditional mother, father, two children and a dog named Spot. Love is love, and family is what is around you and who is in your immediate sphere. That is what I love about this movie. It is saying it is not the traditional sort of stereotype of what we have been taught as a society of what family is."
But that, too, is a horrible, despicable concept to consider, according to Peyser. "So, the nuclear family is a "stereotype," she writes. "And your beloved dog Spot has been replaced by whoever happens to be hanging around your immediate sphere. With that ringing endorsement, women everywhere reached for the baster. (Hey -- Calista Flockhart, Sheryl Crow, Jodie Foster and Murphy Brown did it. In heels!)"
Sheesh! Have a cocktail, Andrea. And what's with the turkey-baster obsession?
Peyser "backs up" her ridiculous argument with interviews with financially strapped and struggling single moms who lost a husband to death or divorce. Yes, it's difficult to be a single mom, especially if you didn't ask for that arrangement. But if someone can afford to raise a kid on her own -- and decides that's the best way for her to start a family -- what business is it of mine? Is motherhood really the domain only of women who are lucky enough to have found a partner before the magic age of 35?
Peyser seems most concerned with the idea of replacing men with inanimate objects. "Men may no longer be necessary, but they come in handy," she writes. "Put down that turkey baster."
All I can say to that is: Andrea, get a life.