In my experience as a parent, the teachers are wrong on this one. Kids whose parents leave them crying take longer to adjust to preschool. They resist going back and don’t like preschool as much. They are still upset when their parents leave many days after other kids are happy with it.

I’ve been a preschool teacher, too, so I understand why teachers think this way. It is easier to deal with a kid at the preschool once the parent is gone, but if you look at the big picture, it doesn’t work as well.

In my experience what works is taking a little longer and giving the kid some feel of control over when mom or dad leaves. Ideally the first visit to the preschool is an open house where parents can stay. Playdates ahead of time with other kids in the class also help as does a visit from the teacher. You need to let your child know that you will be leaving because there isn’t room for all the moms, but you don’t have to leave them crying.

The other thing that helps a lot is to wait until your child really wants to be with other kids and doesn’t mind separating. I was lucky enough not to have to send my kids to preschool when they were two and would not have wanted to leave their parents, although some kids are ready at two.