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The Bitch Stole My Babysitter!

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Angry Mom: There's a single mother in our neighborhood that we've been friendly with for a while now. Her husband left her last year for a younger woman, and I, feeling sorry for her, did anything I could to help her out. My husband took care of some of the "honey-do" stuff her ex used to do; we loaned her our spare car when hers was in the shop and I listened to her gripe about her situation nonstop. But the way she chose to show her gratitude was to sneak behind our backs and pull one of the biggest no-nos in history: The bitch stole our babysitter!

angry woman

Our always-on-time, kid-whispering, loving, amazing caregiver had been like part of the family for two years.

I'd heard of the "nanny nabbing" thing, but I never thought it happened between people who were friendly with one another! This is something you just do not do. It goes up there with making friends with married men, or ... I don't know, sneaking guns on airplanes. Am I right?

I feel so betrayed, so hurt, by what this woman did. Our sitter's 16, and of course she had nothing like a contract with us -- she didn't know. But that bitch down the street did. I think of the times I commiserated with her about how hard it must be to raise a child on her own. I told her she needed to get out more, needed to find a good babysitter that she could trust. I said we could go on a "ladies' night" together. "I'll give you the number of our sitter," I said. "I bet she has some friends who could help you out." Had I only known ....

I find myself fantasizing about the ways I could get revenge, but then I remember that it wouldn't change anything, and I just end up in tears. I can't get over what we lost. This girl didn't just babysit, she engaged our kids, taught them, went on adventures with them, loved them. And now she's gone -- and they don't know what to think.

I do, though: Learn from our mistake. Be thee not so stupid, and let no one -- and I mean no one -- near your babysitter's contact info.

next: Extreme Maxxinista: Married at T.J. Maxx!
42 comments so far | Post a comment now
Leah August 12, 2010, 10:18 AM

I was a baby sitter and anny for years - you can’t steal a sitter from someone. She is not YOUR property. And as you said you didn’t have a contract. Babysitters and nannies do a TOUGH job and we go to whoever pays best or matches the highest rate but may have better behaved children.

catherina August 12, 2010, 10:30 AM

You are certifiable. Leah is right. A sitter/caretaker can care for more than one family’s children.

chris August 12, 2010, 11:16 AM

Call me crazy but why can’t you both use the same babysitter? Most teenagers girl who babysit work for a lot of families. I mean seriously, do you like go out every weekend night? Is this girl no longer babysitting for you at all? If not, then there has to be more to it then her sitting for someone else also.

Anonymous August 12, 2010, 12:04 PM

Are you crazy? A babysitter is not a husband, she’s an employee. She’s free to go anywhere to make money. And since she’s a babysitter for date night, not someone who makes it possible for you to work, I can’t see why you’re even that upset.

Mariah August 12, 2010, 2:14 PM

You cannot be serious with this? What kind of friend were you to this woman to get this deranged over a sitter? A 16 year old kid for that matter. EVERY sitter I’ve ever known has multiple families they work for. That’s how they make their money. Why do you think you’re entitled to have someone sit and wait for you to beckon them when they could be sitting for someone else?

Unbelievably selfish and rude.

Jen August 12, 2010, 3:34 PM

Get over yourself!!! Why can’t your babysitter sit for more than just your family? If she is not watching your children anymore, maybe you need to look at yourself instead of blaming another person. Does she feel under-appreciated within your family? Do you pay enough?

llje August 12, 2010, 4:35 PM

Umm, yeah this is like only blaming the woman when your husband is the cheater. Takes 2 to tango and the sitter must have been offered more money or something. Or maybe you were piling on too much responsibility for too little money? Whatever the case, you sound a little nuts, lady!

Kelley August 12, 2010, 8:26 PM

Agreed that this is not the crisis you find it to be. She was an occasional sitter, not a full time nanny, you had no claim to her.

That being said, there are a lot of ways to work around this. Depending on how many kids the two of you have combined, you could potentially sitter-share her. You each pay less, she makes way more, everyone wins. Otherwise, you could just split the time you use her.

Chrissy August 12, 2010, 10:56 PM

Guess times have changed. When I was a small kid mom’s would like their freinds know when someone was a good babysitter and conversely would let heir freinds know if one wasn’t.
The best babysitters always had work and picked and choose to work based on pay and snack foods.
Heck as a kid you would getting bragging points for getting a “cool” babysitter.
And obviosuly without a husband around, she may actually need the babysitter more often than you.

Stacie August 13, 2010, 5:57 AM

I agree with all above. Why don’t you get over yourself?

Ingrid August 13, 2010, 11:50 AM

I think the lucky mommies above have never had it happen to them. Then they can get over *themselves* when they suddenly can’t go out for their anniversary. I had another family offer our nanny A CAR. The nanny was crying that she had to take it. It took… A CAR… It is cut throat out there, ladies. So glad those days are over for us!

Ingrid August 13, 2010, 12:01 PM

…oh, and I’ve seen it happen at schools! In our old school there was a parent organized after-school babysitting service for the working parents. The VICE PRINCIPAL of the school swooped in and told the sitter, “You’re working for my family now,” leaving the parents suddenly high and dry!

Debbie Hipp August 13, 2010, 12:23 PM

Losing a favorite babysitter can be very upsetting for everyone in the family. Parents need time away and kids need special time away from mom and dad too. Hopefully, you will find a new sitter soon. Did you check

Chelsea August 13, 2010, 1:00 PM

God forbid this babysitter get a boyfriend or join a sports team. She’s not your indentured servant, and with that selfish attitude, no wonder she wants to go to greener pastures.

Michele August 13, 2010, 1:06 PM

I believe in sharing babysitters. We have a regular Friday night sitter and she has since been employed by many of my friends. Yes, sometimes, I want to switch nights and she is not available, but that is not the end of the world. I have other sitters, (many of whom I’ve gotten as recommendations from friends) friends’ older children who babysit and our family is also in a babysitting co-op. I think it’s great for kids to have different people come to babysit. Some do cooking projects with the kids, one loves crafts, etc. Widen your horizons!

XXXX August 13, 2010, 7:27 PM

I think they call it poaching.

Lindsay @ Just My Blog August 24, 2010, 6:25 AM

If your kids get along, it could make for a great co-op opportunity! Babysitter gets paid super cash and you and your friend can get a few nights out! I’m sure the babysitter can sit for both of you….she has lots of evenings and kids will almost always choose money over free-time.

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