Notes from a New Mom: I have a question for all the stay-at-home moms out there -- or should I say, all the moms who work their BUTTS off at home: Do your partners/husbands/boyfriends seem to think that while they're off working away from home, you're eating bonbons and watching soap operas, your kids are entertaining themselves, the laundry magically gets folded and put away and the house just mysteriously stays clean?
Mine does. In fact, I think my guy believes that we have our very own episode of "Bewitched" going on over here. He doesn't seem to think I'm actually really working -- folding laundry, doing dishes, cleaning the house, making bottles, blah blah blah. He also doesn't realize that, while he has the ultimate luxury of taking a no-less-than-ten-minute shower every single morning before work, I take at most a two-minute shower -- with the shower curtain open, so I can watch my baby and make sure she doesn't fall out of her highchair. (Yes, I put her in the highchair while I shower.)
Perhaps my guy's "It's magic!" theory is also the reason why, when the weekend rolls around, he actually feels he deserves to take a two-day break while I continue my workweek (doing all of the above). Then, when I ask him to do something (like the dishes, etc.), he says, "But Baaaabe, you've been home all week." WTF, dude!
This is how it goes down in my house on the weekends: Stay-at-home mom ... actually, let's call her Samantha, in honor of "Bewitched" ... Samantha scrubs the floor, does the dishes, does the laundry, puts the kids in a bath, puts them to bed, etc., and just generally keeps the house and the kids sparkling clean and happy. Meanwhile, works-outside-the-home partner ... um ... Derwood (another "Bewitched" tribute!) sits on the couch relaxing, playing with his new iPad, reading and watching the game (ugh, is it football season AGAIN?!).
My question: What can I expect from my working husband? When I say, "Dude, can you help clean up a little?" he responds, "But I'm just relaxing! You've been home all week; I've been WORKING!"
"And what I have been doing -- getting my nails done?!" I say.
"Well, at least you got to take the baby to the gym," he says. "They have daycare there. At least you get THAT time to catch up with yourself. At least you get to be at home!" And then he asks, "Can I invite so-and-so over for some burgers tonight?" And he's surprised when I smirk and walk into the other room! Wait a minute: I think we are on two different pages here .... What the hell?!
Seriously, am I missing something? Is my job supposed to be 24/7 while his is a mere 8/5 (he works 40 hours a week, Monday through Friday)? I'm guessing your answers will be no, but I see it happen -- and not just in my house. Moms, should my husband and I divide up duties on the weekend, or is my job really 24/7 and I should just keep my mouth shut about it?