twitter facebook stumble upon rss

Is It Wrong for Boys to Wear Tights?

sign up for the momlogic newsletter Tweet This
Guest Blogger Rebecca Barry: Not too long ago,I bought our son Liam a pair of tights. It was the end of the week and he doesn't go to daycare on Fridays and so he and I spent the day together. I took him to the gym, and then to the co-op to get groceries, and then we went to The Cat's Pajamas, which is a children's clothing store that has a "Thomas the Tank Engine" table which can occupy Liam for hours. So Liam played and I bought three pairs of very cute, colorful socks and two pairs of tights.
tights-boy.jpg
When I came home and showed my purchases to my husband, he pointed out that it wasn't really cost-effective to forgo daycare ($35 a day) if I come home with $50 worth of hosiery for a boy. He didn't think the tights were a good idea.

I did. Here's why. I am always cold. My acupuncturist says it's because I have a "damp constitution" and eat too many "damp foods" (coffee, wheat, dairy ... yes, I consider coffee a food). Whatever the reason, I spend the winter freezing and wear tights under my jeans all season long. I assumed that Liam -- who my acupuncturist also at one time also pronounced "damp," and who has no body fat -- is also always cold. So I thought tights would be good for him. I also bought the tights because I feel fairly strongly that children should grow up surrounded by color. They should make colorful things, wear colorful clothes, be exposed to rich, strong colors all the time. I think it's good for their brains, but if you have boys this is hard to do. All the boy clothes are dark browns and greens and totally boring, unless you want to spend a lot of money on Petit Bateau sweaters (which I would if I could). So I am always looking for colorful items for the boys, and these tights were a nice purple-, green- and blue-striped pair, which I thought would look like a very cute pair of socks.

"They're colorful," I said. "All it takes for a kid to look well-dressed is a pair of great socks and a pair of cool shoes."

"You just think he's cold because you're cold," said my husband, who is not "damp". "He's going to die of heatstroke. He doesn't need tights."

"You're just saying that because you're always hot," I said.

What my husband did not say is that he doesn't really want Liam to wear tights because he knows that although I love my boys to death I was kind of hoping for a girl, and he thinks I keep trying to dress my boys like girls. But it's not that I want to dress them like girls; it's that I don't see why they have to be dressed one way or the other. Which brings me to the question of the week: Does the way we dress our children matter?

Later, in the car on the way back from a nature hike, I asked Liam if he liked his new tights. (He had just come out of the public restroom and said, "I have two things: a bottom and a penis.")"I love them," he said happily.

"Why do you love them so much?" I asked. "Was it because they kept you so warm and cozy on our walk?"

"No," he said. "Because I look like Maggie." I could feel my husband's smugness radiating from the driver's side of the car. "Maggie wears tights, and skirts and dresses, and I want to wear skirts and dresses."

"But don't you like pants?" I said.

"Not really. When am I going to lose my penis and be a girl?"

"Oh, that old chestnut," I sighed.

"That's not usually what happens," said my husband, Tommy.

"Well, well, well," said Liam. "When are you going to start being a boy, Mommy?"

"I'm working on it," I said.

In a way, though, he's on to something. I've always been interested in what Virginia Woolf called that "man-womanliness, woman-manliness" that exists in all of us. On the one hand, boys and girls are wired differently, there's no question, but on the other, it seems that we are mostly just human, and tend to exhibit more masculine and feminine qualities at different points of our lives. Women after the age of 30 grow much more aggressive, confident and independent, in my experience. (And after 50, watch out.) Men after the age of 50 are completely sentimental. They just start crying. I think it's all of those years of pretending they don't feel anything.

So maybe my son just sees what we've all forgotten, which is that gender, like morality, like happiness, can be a fairly fluid thing, and that maybe the truth is that we're all women waiting to be men, and men waiting to be women. Which is so fundamentally human -- sitting around, doing the best you can, while waiting to be someone else.

Also, girls' clothes are a lot more fun than boys' clothes.

Either way, we're keeping the tights. And Liam's penis. At least for the time being.

For more from Rebecca Barry, visit Main St. Diaries.


next: Top 5 Unwatchable Movies for Moms
672 comments so far | Post a comment now
Bireysel SEO February 9, 2011, 6:36 AM

Yess. Very nice topic.

merchant cash advance February 9, 2011, 6:53 AM

I wanted to say that it’s awesome to know that somebody else also pointed out this as I had trouble finding the same info elsewhere. This was the first place that told me the answer. With thanks.

Edmund Rathgeber February 9, 2011, 9:01 AM

I totally accept what you have stated. In reality, I browsed through your various other blogposts and I think you’re absolutely correct. Great job with this particular website.

bi fold shower door February 9, 2011, 10:30 AM

Please email me with any hints & tips about how you made your website look this awesome , I would be appreciative.

line rider February 9, 2011, 11:47 AM

Excellent share it is really. My friend has been waiting for this tips.

Kary Gingras February 9, 2011, 2:47 PM

Hello there, happen to be following all your articles for a short, although never ever commented anything before. Reckoned I’d personally chime in. I found this article you authored highly useful. There are a small number of issues that were not very clear, however all in all, the post ended up being goof — not that you need me personally letting you know what you know, lol. Anyways, keep writing!

centrum handlowe February 9, 2011, 6:29 PM

Hey, I can’t recognize how to calculate your own spot in my rss bookworm. Is it possible to Assistance me, gratify It might sound as with you’re creating evils manually by tiresome to solve that make instead of appearing at why its is usually a trouble which are first place.

thanks for the fantastic write-up, suggested to be able to my friends and also colleagues!

vermont roofing February 9, 2011, 9:59 PM

Hey you have provided us a magnificent post that could really assist us. I congratulate for your work.

Pete Singuefield February 9, 2011, 11:07 PM

There are some interesting points in time in this article but I don’t know if I see all of them center to heart. There is some validity but I will take hold opinion until I look into it further. Good article , thanks and we want more! Added to FeedBurner as well

the master key system February 10, 2011, 12:25 AM

This really answered my problem, thank you!

wind powered hosting February 10, 2011, 1:16 AM

Great items from you, man. I have understand your stuff prior to and you are simply too wonderful. I really like what you have bought right here, really like what you are saying and the way in which in which you are saying it. You make it enjoyable and you continue to care for to stay it wise. I can’t wait to read far more from you. This is really a wonderful site.

green hosting February 10, 2011, 1:17 AM

Hi there, simply became alert to your weblog through Google, and found that it’s really informative. I’m gonna watch out for brussels. I will be grateful if you happen to continue this in future. Lots of other people will probably be benefited out of your writing. Cheers!

Bacterial vaginosis natural remedies February 10, 2011, 1:32 AM

I must admit that this is one great insight. It surely gives a company the opportunity to get in on the ground floor and really take part in creating something special and tailored to their needs.

solar hosting February 10, 2011, 2:02 AM

It is appropriate time to make some plans for the longer term and it’s time to be happy. I have learn this post and if I may I wish to recommend you some attention-grabbing issues or tips. Maybe you can write next articles regarding this article. I desire to read even more things approximately it!

hepgel February 10, 2011, 2:05 AM

Yess. Very nice topic.

Rey Kenwood February 10, 2011, 4:11 AM

Cold software with thanks regarding ad this particular right up.

Crystal Bell February 10, 2011, 4:35 AM

Good recommendations on dogs. I own an 8 yr old golden retriever and I love him to death. Will come back for sure! .

sinema izle February 10, 2011, 5:07 AM

Yess. Very nice topic.

Chilliwack Web Design February 10, 2011, 5:46 AM

It is really a nice and helpful piece of information. I’m glad that you shared this useful info with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing.


Leave a reply:



(not displayed)

     




Avoid clicking "Post" more than once
Back to top >>
advertisement