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Kourtney & Scott's Fighting: Good for Ratings; Bad for Baby

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Guest blogger Jessica Katz: Whenever my daughter finally goes to sleep, I, too, am exhausted. I often find myself in bed watching whatever's on E! -- and more often than not, it involves a show about the Kardashians. As I have been watching the war between Kourtney Kardashian and her boyfriend, Scott Disick, evolve, I can't help but wonder how it's affecting their baby, Mason.

Scott Disick; Kourtney Kardashian
Children pick up on everything. They're sponges: They absorb everything around them. That is their only barometer, and they are highly sensitive. They sense tension and conflict and know it's there, whether it be emotional or verbal. When parents argue in front of their child, it causes the child to become emotionally engaged in the argument -- whether they like it or not. Even the silent treatment can be harmful to a child's emotional security, because the parental relationship is the center of a child's emotional well-being.

When babies (or any people, actually) are in stressful situations, they release the stress hormone cortisol -- and lots of it. According to experts, high levels of cortisol are toxic to the brain. So, per the research, baby Mason might suffer long-term effects from witnessing his parents' arguments. Elevated cortisol levels can also cause sleeplessness at night, sleeping during the day, nervousness and tension. So while Kourtney and Scott's fights and tears may be good for ratings and tabloid fodder, it is truly harming their baby. Shouldn't parents' first priority be their child -- not their TV status? 

The saying goes that a happy wife is a happy life, but what it really comes down to is making a happy marriage a priority so you have healthy children. My husband and I try never to fight in front of our daughter. If we notice that our conversation is escalating, we take a time-out. When we reengage later, we have calmed down -- and we actually have an easier time resolving the issue. 

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20 comments so far | Post a comment now
Bella Mia September 21, 2010, 9:25 AM

Jessica - I didn’t notice a PhD of MD after your last name. No offense but every parent would like to give their child a blissfully happy life but after all, this is the real world and people fight. If you don’t teach kids that people argue, disagree, and yell at each other but still love each other, they will be more traumatized when they do hear these normal heated exchanges.

Anonymous September 21, 2010, 10:59 AM

I agree Bella…I argue with my husband in front of my kids. I think it’s good for them to see to ADULTS argueing in a healthy way adults should, resolving the conflict, and loving each other in the end. Ohterwise, the first relationship they get into and there’s a conflict, they’re going to go running.

Now yelling, cussing, hitting…these are not appropriate and a child should not see this…but it happens…a lot. I think Jessica should argue in front of her children…especially if it’s in a healthy manner.

I’ve seen this show….I think Kourtney is a great Mom….She got her son away from the situation where Scott got physical and has made it pretty clear she doesn’t want him around their son if he’s going to continue acting that way. We also only see what the show puts in front of us….who knows what really happens behind closed doors…

Mary Green September 21, 2010, 5:18 PM

I suggest all couples entertain counseling, mediation to re-engineer communication asap, including this celebrity couple.

New “Green” in relationships is COMPROMISE. There is no respect or peace w/o it.

Th good news is how healthy this is for children, as best example of sharing w/in family.

This couple has access to terrific Psychologists, and I look forward to hearing their success in mediation
on their reality show vs. pointless conflict.

Sincerely, Mary Green
Green PI Mom

Mary Green September 26, 2010, 5:14 PM

Sorry, fighting among siblings goes too far, and double for parents. Kids harbor deep wounds and resentments from these bad communication habits. It is not worth it. I’m paying for it, not him, 25 yrs later. Moms are held to higher standards than the Dads.

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