Notes from a New Mom: I received this text the other day: "Going to the gym, do a little steam, then going to dinner and a movie, want to go?" I thought, HUH?! I have a 9-month-old -- there's no way I'm going to spend an extended period of time indulging in four luxuries in one day! At the very most, you can find me getting in a very brief session of exercise without my daughter, and I honestly don't remember the last time my husband and I had a date night. It was months ago ....
But back to my friend. This is not a single lady ready to mingle. She is a mom too, but she's a mom without mom-guilt. She yogas and mani-pedis and goes out to dinner with the girls several times a week. She runs around town while someone else watches her baby, and she has pretty much returned to her pre-baby life (or at least as much as I've ever seen any mom do).
Most of us moms, I will assume, experience some form of mom-guilt, whether it be over making our kids cry or having workdays that are so long we don't get to see them. Now, my question is this: What's the balance here? And how do we, like my friend, resume our semi-normal activities without the guilt factor?
The other day, I squeezed in a power-yoga class while my husband was watching our baby. I was excited to return to one of my favorite activities ever, yet as I watched the clock pass the 90-minute mark, I began panicking, wondering if they were OK, if my husband would be upset that I was running late, if this class was ever going to be over. A serious dose of mom-guilt!
At the end of class, while I was literally sprinting out the door to get back home, I ran into the friend mentioned above. She was slowly rolling up her mat, relaxed and happy. "Hi," she said. "Want to go grab a glass of wine?" She was in no hurry to get back home! I was stunned.
It made me wonder: Is it me that's doing this to myself?
Moms, what do you think? Should I have gone to grab a glass of wine with her, or is there something wrong with my friend not having any trace of mom-guilt?