twitter facebook stumble upon rss

MTV VMAs: OLD I AM

sign up for the momlogic newsletter Tweet This

momlogic's Vivian:

Lady Gaga

I never thought it would happen. I came to a realization that goes against each and every fiber of my being as a straight-up music worshipper, and defies each modicum of what I consider sanity. But it's true, and I don't think I can afford to deny the pain of my reality any longer.

I think I'm finally too old for the MTV Video Music Awards.

If you'd known how deeply I felt this event for decades (decades!), you'd well understand how I'm able to consider this a grave travesty. The years I spent begging, pleading and cajoling my parents for undisputed mastery of the remote during the prime-time hours of that night, all to virtually experience this ultimate free-fall party down where the musicians drank, snorted and shoved each other into the hellfires of FCC-bleepin' oblivion with salacious abandon. Today, it's been demoted to an act of posterity. I fast-forward through all the schlock to get to the P!nks and Lady Gagas -- or anyone else who even remotely interests me -- just to have something to comment about at the watercooler.

Last night, it was almost painful to endure all the lost opportunities for redemption. I wanted to love the former bad-boy rebel Eminem. I did. Especially since he's been at it way longer than many of the amateurs who surrounded him. But I didn't. His wild opening act was a subdued tale of redemption that bored me to tears. Hell, maybe he's too old for this shizz himself.

As a HUGE Chelsea Handler fan since "Chelsea Lately" was called "The Chelsea Handler Show" (the earlier incarnation that no one else watched), it was my civic duty to press record and see what my gurl could do to shake things up and make the show palatable. And as only she could, she voiced my feelings about how staid things had gotten in recent years: "I want to encourage everyone to be on their worst behavior," she said. "And I'm not just talking about some predictable girl-on-girl kiss. We've all seen that. I want to turn this mother out. Get your tongues ready, because I want one shoved someplace it's not supposed to be."

Poor Chelsea did her best to corral her randy sense of humor into the PG-rated barn, but it all felt a bit limited and shellacked -- even as she responded to Snooki taunts with an "It's f*ing on!" and dove into a hot tub with the entire "Jersey Shore" cast.

At least Gaga had the wherewithal to have "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" discharged military as her special guests and use the show as a forum to send an indirect, non-preachy message to the masses.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I'm old enough to be Justin Bieber's mother, and not in a "Teen Mom" kind of way. Maybe it has to do with the fact that this year's winner for Best New Artist sounds exactly like the Best New Artist of twenty years ago. But the whole event feels so played.

I mean, is there a rehab for this kind of thing? Should I be forcing myself to go to the 25th anniversary of Lollapalooza? Listen to bands like Muse on loop? Or accept that fact that in five years or less, it will be my kid who, come VMA night, begs, pleads and bargains for undisputed mastery of the remote?

I just hope when he does, I'm able to pop the corn and cop a squat right next to him. For old times' sake, of course.


next: Little Sally Draper Did WHAT?!
36 comments so far | Post a comment now
Jamie September 13, 2010, 8:54 PM

It’s not just you. I’m 21 and was quite bored with the show throughout. I, too, feel the good ‘ole days are gone — and they should have only just started for me, right?!

VMAReporter2010 September 14, 2010, 3:15 AM

I am NOT a follower of the VMA’s or in fact many of the so called arists apart from florence and the machine, muse and possibly hayley williams however I only tuned in to see Eminem as did the rest of the 11 million viewers or so did and the MTV executives know this, that’s why eminem was featured heavily in promoting the 2010 VMA like last year, the hype of the show was an awful lot to live up to and fortunately Eminem and the surprise appearance from Rhianna successfully lived up to all the crazyness and hype surrounding this years VMA’s, the main reason is eminems performances are electrifying. Thats a cold hard fact.

Once Eminem and Rhianna left I only watched until Florence and the machine and hayley williams done their performances “which were amazing by the way”… then happily switched over as nothing else was worth watching as it was lady gaga show…

Project Ideas For High School Students November 25, 2010, 12:00 AM

Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.

buy diazepam December 1, 2010, 3:24 PM

Hello everybody, This web page is excellent as well exactly how the subject had been expanded. I like some of the comments too even though I would choose we all keep it on topic to be able to add significance to the subject.

adipex user reviews December 6, 2010, 3:15 PM

I hope you never stop! this is one of the best blogs Ive ever read. Youve got some mad skill here, man. I just hope that you dont lose your style because youre definitely one of the coolest websitegers out there. Please keep it up because the internet needs someone like you spreading the word.

payday loan December 10, 2010, 3:11 AM

You completed several good points there. I did so looking for the issue and found many people go along with using your blog.

payday loan online December 10, 2010, 3:18 AM

Hello, Today inside a new directory of blogs. I don’t recognize how your blog came up, have to have been a typo. Your site looks good, possess a nice day.

pay day loan December 10, 2010, 4:25 AM

Thanks much for ones downright post.this is the words that sustains me to normal straight during my day. I have already been searching around because of this site after being called them from the colleague and was thrilled after i was able to locate it after trying to find reasonable length of time. To be a demanding blogger, i’m hopeful to remarked further ones taking initivative and contributing to the city. True wished to comment to exhibit my appreciation for your website because it is very intelligent to complete, and several writers usually do not accumulate acknowledgment they deserve. I’m definite i’ll return and can send most of my buddies.

pay day loans December 10, 2010, 6:10 AM

Thanks much to your downright post.this is the words that sustains me on the right track straight through my day. For a nice and searching around just for this site after being known them from your colleague and was thrilled when i could locate it after seeking very long time. As a demanding blogger, i’m hopeful to remarked further ones taking initivative and leading to town. True planned to comment to exhibit my appreciation for the website because it is very intelligent to perform, and several writers usually do not accumulate acknowledgment they deserve. I will be definite i’ll be back all of which will send some of my pals.

payday loan online December 10, 2010, 6:21 AM

I became extremely pleased to locate this great site.I desired to appreciate this excellent read!! I definitely enjoying every little it and I maybe you have bookmarked to look at new stuff you post.

fast payday loans December 10, 2010, 10:14 AM

Hi I stumbled upon this great site by mistake as i was searching yahoo because of this issue, I have to say your site is really helpful Furthermore love the theme, its amazing!. I dont have that much time to read your complete post presently but We have bookmarked it and as well subscribed to your RSS feeds. I will be back a short time. thank you for a fantastic site.

payday loans online December 13, 2010, 1:11 PM

You completed several good points there. Used to do looking for the issue and located virtually all people go along with using your blog.

pay day loan December 13, 2010, 1:18 PM

Hello, Today in a new directory of blogs. I don’t learn how your site came up, should have been a typo. Your site looks good, use a nice day.

pay day loans December 13, 2010, 2:23 PM

I agree completely using your conclusions and think that you’ve made some excellent points. Also, I like customized for specific cultures of one’s site along with the simplicity of navigation. I’ve bookmarked your blog and definately will return often!

pay day loan December 13, 2010, 4:00 PM

Easily i am not against what you saying but i can exclude that you are not valid about this issue. Why we know individual convertd a whole lot in span of time? Can’t we merely coincide on all causes? We had comparable condition in our business.Decoding the condition want some concentrated analysis

payday loan December 14, 2010, 7:08 AM

I was just browsing occasionally and got you just read this post. I have to admit that we’re in the hand of luck today or maybe getting such an excellent post to learn wouldn’t have been achievable in my opinion, no less than. Really appreciate your content.

payday loan online December 14, 2010, 7:16 AM

I had been questioning occasion you ever considered altering customized for specific cultures in the website? Its really correctly created; I enjoy what youve obtained to mention. But possibly you possibly can small extra in the form of content so males could connect with it greater. Youve obtained an awful total large amount of text for less than receiving a single or two images. Maybe you’ll be able to area it greater?

quick payday loans December 14, 2010, 7:41 AM

Kudos for posting this kind of useful weblog. Your website isn’t only informative and also very artistic too. There are frequently very number of individuals who can write low number of simple articles that creatively. Keep up the good writing !!

instant payday loans December 14, 2010, 8:51 AM

Intriguing article. I know I’m somewhat late in posting my comment though the article would have been to the point and just the info I’d been in search of. I can’t say i always go along with all you mentioned nonetheless it was emphatically fascinating! BTW…I found your website through a Google search. I’m a frequent visitor for your blog and definately will return again soon.

same day payday loans December 14, 2010, 10:30 AM

I used to be boastful to find this site.I wanted to appreciation for this excellent read!! I definitely enjoying every bit of it and I maybe you have bookmarked to view new belongings you post.


Back to top >>
advertisement