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Unless I Ask, Don't Give Me Parenting Advice

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Angry Mom: This is a true story ....

The other day, my daughter just did not want to go down for her nap in the crib, so I decided that before I went insane listening to her cry, I'd get some shopping done at Whole Foods. I took her out of the crib, put her in the stroller and we walked down to the market. Then I put her stroller in the laying-down position, so that she might still catch a little catnap.
woman covering her ears
I was returning some phone calls while strolling through the market when I heard a lady behind me. "Excuse me, excuse me!" she called. I turned around because of the urgency in her voice. "You really should lift your child's seat up," the woman said. "She wants to see the world!" 

I told my girlfriend on the phone to hold on a minute (yes, I was in the middle of a conversation), then said to the lady, "Wait ... what?" 

"Your child!" she said. "She is not up far enough. She needs to be moved up so she can see!" 

I kind of chuckled (but in a bitchy kind of way) and then said, "Oh, are you her mom? Do you know her nap schedule? No, you don't, thank you." 

Dude, WTF?! Imagine if I'd come up to her in the market and said, "Oh my gosh, you're not going to buy that, are you?! Do you know how BAD that is for you, and how many grams of fat it has?!" I mean, even though I've often thought things like that to myself while viewing other people's grocery carts (I am very guilty of judging others), I would never actually say it out loud. 

Parenting is a hard enough job as it is, so unless I am asking you for some advice, please don't throw your opinions at me. I'm trying my best here. I am willing to bet that this lady didn't have any kids, because if she did, she would probably have known better. 

Next time, lady, keep your unsolicited advice where I keep my judgments about you -- inside. Otherwise, I'm going to unleash my crap onto you. And trust me: You don't want that!

next: 'Dear Republicans: Nobody Likes a Sore Loser!'
8 comments so far | Post a comment now
Jennifer September 28, 2010, 9:20 AM

Totally agree! I used to get crappy comments from people who didn’t approve of my daughter’s use of a pacifier. Too bad, so sad! And it was a MAN who said it, I believe I said something like “go grow a uterus and then we’ll talk”.

Mary September 28, 2010, 11:37 AM

I remember standing in line at an Old Navy store years ago holding my son who was maybe 2mos old at the time. I was buying him a goofy hat and matching sunglasses when the woman behind me felt the need to pipe up suggest that I not buy the sunglasses since she’d read somewhere that putting sunglasses on a baby can actually ruin their vision & that it wasn’t healthy. I thanked her and told her that I’d read somewhere that offering unsolicited advice wasn’t healthy either.

Carol Pyles September 28, 2010, 11:44 AM

Wow that story is a real winner, and I thought it was bad when I was disciplining my son in the store for being rowdy and had an older lady come up to us and coddle my son by saying oh no hes not a bad boy hes a perfectly normal boy, mamma shouldn’t be so hard on him.

I sat there gap jawed looking at her like EXCUSE ME!!! And then said well I will be the judge of that. He is not listening and making a scene, THANK YOU LOL

PartlySunny September 28, 2010, 12:04 PM

Actually, I’ll bet that lady did have kids. I don’t think it matters. There are some people who just feel the need to say something about your parenting no matter what. And just think about how many of us go completely bonkers with our parents and in-laws when we have kids. They had children once, and I’m sure they said, “I will NEVER give my kids unsolicited advice or tell them how to raise their children.” Fast forward a couple of decades…

And I have to respectfully disagree about the sunglasses thing. There’s SO much information being put out about so many things. There’s no way to keep up. I’m thinking that woman was honestly trying to be helpful. I mean, if you saw someone feeding honey to a baby, wouldn’t you say something? It seems like it would be cruel or negligent not to. It’s not like you’d be calling her out as a bad parent. We all just can’t know everything.

K8 September 28, 2010, 1:25 PM

Not just parenting advise, ANY unsolicited advise is totally and completely unwelcome!

Mary September 28, 2010, 2:32 PM

No, I would not say something to a mother I saw feeding her baby honey. It’s her baby. If she were reaching to feed it to my baby, you better believe I’d say something.

Not everything you read is correct, things change overnight and at the drop of a hat. For every study you read there are two that say it’s wrong. Parents need to eventually stop putting so much faith into the media and “studies” when what is true today is false tomorrow. You’ll only drive yourself crazy.

Whatever study you read or news report you heard, keep it to yourself, I don’t need to hear it. Just for the record, the sunglasses were being used to take a few pictures. Honestly, who ever knew a 2 month old who kept sunglasses on for such a period of time that they caused eye damage? Also, who actually funded a study for that??

tylerskald October 4, 2010, 6:22 PM

I would like to exchange links with your site
Is this possible?

L.K February 4, 2011, 8:48 AM

I hate unsoliticated advice! I’ve heard people say all kinds of things. Many which aren’t true. I one time had a woman trying to give candy to my one year old. HE’S ONE! HE’S NOT ALLOWED TO EAT CANDY!

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