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My Daughter Walked In on Us Having Sex

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When I was 13, I walked in on my parents having sex in their bathroom. I was pretty put out -- I mean, how dare they expose me to something so gross? And in the bathroom?! How was I ever going to shower again without reliving them going at it? My girlfriends and I had a good laugh about it, and since then it hasn't been difficult to block it from my memory. That is, until the universe decided to teach me a lesson in paybacks ....

Girl covering her eyes
Living in a smallish house, my husband and I have been careful to never do anything too intimate until our children are asleep, and even then to do it very quietly. Due to their almost constant proximity, the opportunities for wild sex have been rare. One recent Friday night, however, we were excited to find that both of our kids had plans for sleepovers, so naturally, once the house was empty, we attacked each other. But what started out as hot sex ended with my daughter returning home to retrieve a forgotten toothbrush. The rest goes down in the most cringe-worthy of parenting annals. 

Yes, the scenario you are imagining really did occur, and it was every bit as mortifying as you think. We didn't hear her enter the house because we had closed the door to our bedroom. God knows how long she'd been standing there watching us, but when I glanced at the doorway, there she was, holding her toothbrush, a deer in headlights, staring at her nude and sweating parents (who were in a very un-missionary position). The situation could not have been worse. If she were, say, 3, I could have said that Mommy and Daddy were exercising or something. But she knew exactly what was going on, because she's 10 and we'd had the sex talk not two years before. Now our child had visual proof of our sex life -- and it was much worse than the proof I'd gotten of my own parents'. God help me. 

We quickly covered up and tried to remain calm. We acted like it was no big deal, because we didn't want her to think it was. But let me tell you, it was hard to pull off. We told her we were sorry she'd had to see what she'd seen, but that what she'd witnessed was two loving, committed and married (I emphasized the latter, so she didn't get any ideas) people expressing their love for one another. We asked her to come to us if she had any questions, and we requested that she not discuss this with her friends. To both requests, she answered, "I'd rather die." 

So that takes care of that. There is nothing more we can do, I guess, aside from teaching her to always knock on closed doors before opening them. That's a lesson I learned the hard way, also, except now I've learned another, more important one: You have to remember to lock some doors, too.

next: Second Child Syndrome -- Disadvantage or Gift?
15 comments so far | Post a comment now
Lisa R. October 8, 2010, 6:35 AM

LOL! I always wondered how these things happened, kids walking in on their parents having sex; I mean, don’t people lock their doors? But this—the child leaving, then coming back for something, the parents not hearing her return—could really happen to anyone. How mortifying! But my favorite part was the daughter’s response to the parents’ requests for delicacy dealing with this issue: “I’d rather die!” Too funny! But only because it wasn’t me! :D

Theo October 8, 2010, 8:04 AM

Oh my!I admire your calm reaction.I don’t know what I’d have done in that situation.

Desiree Fawn October 8, 2010, 11:48 AM

Good work on the calm reaction!

My mother and her boyfriend were MUCH LESS CALM when I walked in on them at the age of ten. Cringe!!

My daughter will be 2 in January so I don’t have to worry about this for a while… I hope if it ever happens to us we’ll be able to play it cool :)

KMayer October 8, 2010, 12:00 PM

You probably influenced her to NEVER do something so disgusting, and created a great memory when she’s your age to know you still had it going on!

XXXX October 8, 2010, 2:07 PM

She’ll get over it.

TheFeministBreeder October 8, 2010, 2:11 PM

This had me in stitches. Could be up there with the time my children grabbed my giant pink vibrator out of the drawer and held it up in front of my Mother-In-Law saying “What’s THIS toy?!”

Yeah, I walked in on my grandparents too. I didn’t knock because it NEVER occurred to me that 50 yr old people did THAT. I saw very little - just them jumping to opposite sides of the bed, but still. *shudder*

Nicole  October 9, 2010, 5:50 AM

And you don’t lock your door why???? Last thing I want to do is tramatize my son. So on with lock!

deaddrift October 9, 2010, 3:57 PM

“annals” heh heh

Mrsphamtastic November 2, 2010, 3:04 PM

WOW…I ALWAYS lock the door, locked it last night, didnt get any, but just to make sure lol! I always worry about when we r n the TV room & think we r home alone but that worry wart only last 30 seconds anybody who comes in after that deserves an eyeful for walking in and a glare for interuptting! my response “at least we waited til u left no one would’ve noticed if u didnt brush ur teeth!” :)

mindy November 11, 2010, 11:07 PM

my son walked in on me ( I didn’t have a lock, but door was shut all the way) and that was 3 years ago..He’s 8 and still remebers..I still just explain we are two loving adults deeply in love and that’s how adults express their love when their alone and it’s always a good idea to knock

ginger November 23, 2010, 3:01 PM

My daughter heard us once when she was three and pounded on the wall in between our bedrooms in the middle of the night and yelled “Hey!! Whats you two doing in there??” We told her we were moving furniture and that was the end of it.

GuyMandude January 29, 2011, 12:33 AM

What BS. Sex is no way a “deep expression of love”. It’s obvious- it’s all because you are horny.

none  May 2, 2011, 2:11 PM

i walked on my parents and they asked me to join them which i did without hesitance

none  May 2, 2011, 2:13 PM

i walked on my parents and they asked me to join them which i did without hesitance

mom in iowa May 19, 2011, 12:04 AM

so what would you do if your teen heard you and then posted it on facebook… ’ i can hear my parents.. f**king…

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