Guest blogger Jessica Katz: After my dad died, I started wondering what it would be like if something happened to my husband and I became a single mom. No one looks in my direction when I have my 9-month-old in my arms, so I wondered how hard it would be to meet someone new.
I mean, I can tell you right now that the stretch marks on my breasts and my C-section scar are not
selling points. Not to mention the fact that I can never shower long enough to shave my
legs. So I decided to start asking people. A few of my guy friends said they
wouldn't care if a potential date were a single mom because it was no big deal or they had always wanted to adopt.
One friend said, "At least we know she has sex."
But a few others said, "Absolutely not." They don't want to have to deal with someone
else's kids. I asked a few single moms about it, and they said they absolutely had a hard
time dating. Having a kid brings up all sort of dating challenges: How to tell the guy about the kid; when to introduce the kid to the guy; what if the kid gets attached to the guy
and you break up ....
I watched my mom struggle with this with her last boyfriend, and when they finally ended
their eight-year relationship, she realized it was a loss for my little brother
as well. She even offered him the chance to call the guy and say goodbye.
You see people like Reese Witherspoon
dating with kids, but you wonder: Is it
because guys really don't care, or is it because she is Reese Witherspoon
? All of
those girls on "Teen Mom" are dating up a storm, too; however, I don't think their
teenage boyfriends are really looking to settle down yet.
Being a stepparent is a huge deal. It can be really hard and really rewarding. But
hearing "You're not my real dad! I don't have to listen to you!" can take a toll on any relationship. So I wonder how hard it would be as a widowed/divorced mom to meet someone new. I mean, my baby is cute. I could put a "Be My Daddy" T-shirt on her and hang out on a street corner. Other than that, though, how
would I even have the time or energy to date? I eat at 5:30 PM. And I am in bed
by 7:00 PM.
Single moms, what have you experienced?