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GLBT Teens NEED To Know 'It Gets Better'

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Tyler Clementi

We here at momlogic are devastated to report yet another teen gay suicide. The Advocate reports that Raymond Chase, a 19-year-old sophomore at Johnson & Wales in Providence, R.I., hung himself in his dorm room this past Wednesday.

And just as I was writing this, Perez Hilton reported the passing of a Fort Wayne, Ind., gay teen, Caleb Nolt -- the SIXTH teen gay suicide this week!

Yes, Chase and Nolt are the FIFTH AND SIXTH unnecessary deaths among gay teens in recent weeks! And who knows how many others just didn't make the papers?

Teenagers can be merciless. But bullying has got to stop. As parents, it's our job to teach our straight teens tolerance, and let our gay teens know that they need to hang in there and seek out support, because it does get better.

Celebrity-gossip blogger Perez Hilton has done an amazing job of reaching out to his celeb pals via Twitter and asking them to contribute messages of hope to the YouTube "It Gets Better Project," which was started by columnist Dan Savage.

As Ellen DeGeneres says in the amazing anti-bullying message below, "Teenage bullying and teasing is an epidemic in this country, and the death rate is climbing. One life lost in a senseless way is tragic; four lives lost is a crisis."

Please take a moment to honor the six children we've lost this week by watching the video ... and honor your own spirit by taking Ellen's message to heart and doing your part.




next: Ellen Speaks Out against Bullying
31 comments so far | Post a comment now
zandhmom October 1, 2010, 10:43 AM

This is sad but all kinds of kids get bullied everyday for a lot of different reasons. No matter how much parents teach they kids not to bully, you can’t be with them all the time to make sure it doesn’t happen. And for the record, kids aren’t the only people that bully and/or judge, just read some of the moms on this site or listen to adults on tv. Every adult out there also judges -yes EVERY ADULT- so how can we except our children to behave any better.

A peer of calebs October 1, 2010, 1:22 PM

Okay. I understand what this post is going threw but your information is false. Caleb Nolt was NOT gay he was STRIAGHT. He had a girlfriend. People need to not jump to conclusions.

Dr. Watson October 1, 2010, 2:37 PM

The point isn’t whether Caleb Nolt was gay or straight. And, as an aside, having a girlfriend doesn’t make a young man straight. But his specific sexual orientation isn’t the important thing here because it isn’t the direct “cause” of suicide (for any of the victims this week) - the key thing that had an ultimately deadly impact on all of these kids is the bullying, harassment, and violations of privacy that have occurred (albeit in slightly different ways for each of the young men).

And all of these cases of cruelty, harassment, and incessant bullying have related to perceived (or actual) sexual orientation. They have all been about being gay, whether the young man actually was or not. This dynamic is especially common in young men.

And this level of incessant, cruel bullying & harassment can be stopped. All of the adults in a location, such as a school, have to be invested and devoted to stopping it and to creating an atmosphere of respect. But it has been done before, and it can be done again.

We can expect our kids to behave better. If we have the expectation, more kids are likely to reach it. We have to change our own behavior too though. If adults are behaving this way, call them out on it. Don’t just let it continue. When bullied kids see adults being bullied it just gives them less hope. Why are we, as adults, putting up with this behavior by others, either kids or adults? It is our place to stop it. And we can. But we have to be committed and not just pretend it’s all “just teasing”. That is no longer the case.

Dr. Watson October 1, 2010, 2:38 PM

The point isn’t whether Caleb Nolt was gay or straight. And, as an aside, having a girlfriend doesn’t make a young man straight. But his specific sexual orientation isn’t the important thing here because it isn’t the direct “cause” of suicide (for any of the victims this week) - the key thing that had an ultimately deadly impact on all of these kids is the bullying, harassment, and violations of privacy that have occurred (albeit in slightly different ways for each of the young men).

And all of these cases of cruelty, harassment, and incessant bullying have related to perceived (or actual) sexual orientation. They have all been about being gay, whether the young man actually was or not. This dynamic is especially common in young men.

And this level of incessant, cruel bullying & harassment can be stopped. All of the adults in a location, such as a school, have to be invested and devoted to stopping it and to creating an atmosphere of respect. But it has been done before, and it can be done again.

We can expect our kids to behave better. If we have the expectation, more kids are likely to reach it. We have to change our own behavior too though. If adults are behaving this way, call them out on it. Don’t just let it continue. When bullied kids see adults being bullied it just gives them less hope. Why are we, as adults, putting up with this behavior by others, either kids or adults? It is our place to stop it. And we can. But we have to be committed and not just pretend it’s all “just teasing”. That is no longer the case.

Dr. Watson October 1, 2010, 2:40 PM

The point isn’t whether Caleb Nolt was gay or straight. And, as an aside, having a girlfriend doesn’t make a young man straight. But his specific sexual orientation isn’t the important thing here because it isn’t the direct “cause” of suicide (for any of the victims this week) - the key thing that had an ultimately deadly impact on all of these kids is the bullying, harassment, and violations of privacy that have occurred (albeit in slightly different ways for each of the young men).

And all of these cases of cruelty, harassment, and incessant bullying have related to perceived (or actual) sexual orientation. They have all been about being gay, whether the young man actually was or not. This dynamic is especially common in young men.

And this level of incessant, cruel bullying & harassment can be stopped. All of the adults in a location, such as a school, have to be invested and devoted to stopping it and to creating an atmosphere of respect. But it has been done before, and it can be done again.

We can expect our kids to behave better. If we have the expectation, more kids are likely to reach it. We have to change our own behavior too though. If adults are behaving this way, call them out on it. Don’t just let it continue. When bullied kids see adults being bullied it just gives them less hope. Why are we, as adults, putting up with this behavior by others, either kids or adults? It is our place to stop it. And we can. But we have to be committed and not just pretend it’s all “just teasing”. That is no longer the case.

Dr. Watson October 1, 2010, 2:42 PM

Oops! Sorry! I didn’t realize using preview and then post would post duplicate copies. Apologies!

Coralee October 1, 2010, 9:50 PM

I agree with the first poster. Yes, how very sad for the families and friends of these six people. But you, yourself, said to think about all the others that didn’t make the papers. Think about how many young people kill themselves every day for many, many more reasons than their sexual orientation. Even if you’re straight, that doesn’t mean you’ll be safe from bullies. Where are the activists for the religiously persecuted, the fat kids, the loners, the kids who have too much sex, the kids who don’t have enough sex, the kids with zits, the kids who are too poor for “cool” clothes, etc etc, ad nauseum.

mom of calebs friends October 1, 2010, 10:50 PM

My child is friends with caleb and he was not gay. But that should not be an issue and child has taken his own life. These bullies made his school career so horrible he felt helpless. Why are these school officials getting involved and doing something? Being different and unique is what is wonderful about our human race. Why are we not teaching these diversity is to celebrated not feared. EDUCATION is the key. I am so disappointed in the school system because they are the who need to educate these kids is the parents will not do it. But again FWCS dropped ball again.

Anonymous October 2, 2010, 7:13 AM

We just had a 15 yr boy from my son’s high school who shot himself 3 weeks ago. Not b/c he was gay, not b/c he was bullied but b/c he had mental issues that clouded his judgement. Every single day there is a child out in the world that kills themselves. I agree with coralee and zahmom, we as adult may never know the real reasons why kids decide that life is too hard to handle and their only solution is death. Very sad when anyone feels that way for whatever reason.

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Anonymous October 4, 2010, 8:38 PM

Excuse me. Do you understand the definition of slander? And do you know it’s illegal? You say the issue isn’t whether this boy (who happens to be my relative thank you very much) was gay, but to our family it is an issue. We would like to have him remembered as he was, not used for political gain or for gay rights when he was in fact, straight. Check your facts, or you could end up with a lawsuit on your hands.

Berenice October 12, 2010, 8:18 AM

Our country is having perhaps the worst time in decades with the effects on bullying, and the worst part is that we as parents most of the time turn a blind eye to this situation, it has to stop and we can make that happen. Kamagra

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