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I Get Why Some Moms Have A Lot Of Kids ... Sort of

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Guest blogger Angela Chee: Now that I have two kids, I realize it's just easier the second time around. Is it because my second one is easier or my first one more difficult? Is it because I've done it already?

Kate Gosselin and kids

Whatever the reason, now I know why some moms continue to have more kids. You sort of know what you're doing already. You have all the stuff. Don't get me wrong -- it's not that I want more kids. But on good days when you see your kids smile and see the love in their eyes, you realize why parents go through all that they do.

When my daughter's face lights up when I walk into the room, or my son gives me a hug and says, "Thank you, Mommy!", I just melt. When you watch their little personalities develop, sometimes you see a part of you, sometimes a part of your husband, and sometimes it's just uniquely them -- but it's amazing regardless.

However, on a day when I'm struggling with my own kids and see an exhausted pregnant mom with multiple kids (one throwing a temper tantrum, one crying, and one running in the opposite direction) trying to load them into a minivan filled with carseats and strollers, I figure two is quite enough for me, thanks.

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19 comments so far | Post a comment now
laura October 7, 2010, 7:47 AM

Thank you for saying it gets easier. I’m the pregnant mom with just one kid throwing a fit (in her defense, she got an ear infection and her molars were coming in) and I sometimes think maybe just one is quite enough for me. You give me hope that I’ll survive and one day have those moments where I too will understand why people have tons of kids.

Flawless Mom October 7, 2010, 8:20 AM

So funny! I just posted about why I’m only having one kid. I totally get why people have two or three. I think I would’ve done it if I started younger. Plus, I think the longer you go with just one, the more daunting it seems to have another. But the more I learn about my son, the more I wonder what our second would be like. Oh well. Ain’t gonna happen. You’ll do great, Laura!

Rebecca C October 7, 2010, 8:48 AM

I always heard that, for most people, three kids is when you really have to adapt, because it suddenly gets really hard.

Not a clue how true this is, just something I’ve heard more than a few times.

Christina Mathewson October 7, 2010, 2:41 PM

Hi, the first three children are the hardest, after that it’s gets unbelievably easier. As a mum of 5 all under 6, I have people come up to me all the time and make comments about how hard my life must be, they only have one or two and find that hard enough, and I think to myself, if only the knew how much easy life would be with more. Yes you know what you are doing the second and third time round, you become a pro and 4 plus. You also have children that are helpful.

KS October 7, 2010, 4:58 PM

I found that our third child was the hardest. He was colicky and very needy. After him I became very adapt at managing my time, planning menus, and instituting a family schedule. Everything became easier actually and I don’t know how I lived my life simply off the cuff when we only had one.

I’m more comfortable with my decisions and I am more informed now after having four children than I ever was when I simply had one. I actually never wanted to have a small family and I don’t understand the desire to only have one child.

I also think having more than just two children naturally teaches your children valuable life lessons. It also forces the parents to let go of some of the worry. You simply can not hover over four children every second of the day. You have to accept that they are going to fall and eat dirt and do a hundred other things that wont kill them but is gross and kind of painful.

Kids don’t ever take away from your family. The more you have the more well rounded your family unit is and the more it teaches you to love everyone for who they are.

Ashlie October 8, 2010, 7:12 AM

I totally agree with the “rule of three.” When I was pregnant with my third, everyone and her mother told me that three is the hardest; after that, it gets easier, whether you end up with 4 or 14. It’s so true! After the birth of my third, I found everything to be near impossible, to the point where I was questioning if I was capable of having kids at all! Now I’m due with my fourth and feel no qualms at all. I come from a big family…two of my sisters have 17 and 11 kids, respectively, and they also agree with the the three kids thing. They found it easier to deal with, say, 8 than 3. I don’t know what it is about 3, but it seems to be pretty accurate.

Barret October 9, 2010, 6:24 AM

The desire to get the kids, it’s good. But not everyone has the opportunity of content, etc. With these accounts be reconciled.

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mom, interrupted October 9, 2010, 11:10 AM

I have four kids AND have worked full time throughout.

And yes, there are moments when it was unbelievably difficult. But getting through the first few years is such a small amount of time when you compare it to the rest of their lives. They love having all those siblings and I love having them…each one is a delight.

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