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Second Child Syndrome -- Disadvantage or Gift?

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Guest blogger Angela Chee: My second child is so much easier and more mellow than my first. Maybe it's because she's a girl, maybe I'm more experienced, or maybe she just has to go with the flow because of my toddler. Who knows?It's probably a little of everything.But sometimes I feel guilty that it's all about my first most of the time.

Toddlers playing

With my first I wrote down every milestone, always had a camera in hand, made all his baby food and noticed everything. Sure, I still take pictures and mark some milestones, but notso many now. It goes by so much faster the second time around.My songets to run around while my daughter has to hang out in the Baby Bjorn or play by herselfas I chase after him.The fact is,she simply doesn't get as much attention as he did.

Butis the second child syndrome a disadvantage ... or a gift? Unlike with my first, I don't rush to her rescue at every peep. I'm usuallytrying to keep up with my 2-year-old, so by necessitymy daughter is learningto wait a little longer to get picked up or fed or whatever she needs.But maybe I don't need tofeel guilty; maybe being the second will make her more independent, patient and easy-going. I figure not handing my second everything she wants immediately is giving my daughter an important early life lesson. One I have to remind myself to give my2-year-old once in awhile.

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13 comments so far | Post a comment now
KS October 8, 2010, 9:07 AM

You may still want to make the baby food. Then you can teach them BOTH a bit of patience. Everyone goes through this a bit. Well most people do. You are one person and you can only give your kids so much attention.

Children by design will demand as much attention as they can get. Learning that the world doesn’t revolve around you and the hundred or so other life lessons siblings teach us are invaluable. Let go of the guilt it’s not necessary.

Anonymous October 8, 2010, 11:32 AM

Its because your 2nd was a girl. My second was a boy and if had of been born first I’d only have 1 lol! I’ve gone to bed at night almost crying about how he is wondering if there is something wrong with him but have been told that he juts a normal boy.

Mo October 8, 2010, 11:58 AM

Yes, my first was a girl and everything was so easy! Mister Man comes around 2 and a half years later and I questioned myself. My daughter was quiet and would play in her crib until someone came and got her. My son the second is awake he would be screaming. My daughter understood simple commands ie sit down come here, my son blatantly ignored me. My daughter was potty trained by 16 month, my son wasn’t potty trained until he was 2 and a half(talk about Mommy being traumatized). Sigh, according to my mother(of 3 children) each child is different and you should never expect anything except the unexpected

ColleenG October 8, 2010, 5:02 PM

I have 2 boys, born 22 months apart. Believe me gender has nothing to do with it. Each baby is different, regardless of sex.

Miss Xrumer December 29, 2010, 7:16 PM

By any chance is your real name Kyle?

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