Divorce Detox: With just the click of a button, we can unfriend people from Facebook, ejecting them from our daily lives without a second thought. Wouldn't
it be nice if you could just "unfriend" your ex in real time the same way you can on Facebook? As appealing as deleting your ex from your life sounds, it's often just not possible, especially if you share children together. However, there are ways you can alter your "privacy settings" in your life to minimize contact and interaction after divorce.
Here are some suggestions on how distance yourself from your ex:
1) Change any mutual passwords to your accounts. Social-networking sites keep you connected to others, but they're also a window
into your ex's world that you don't want or need to see anymore.
2) Keep your private life private. You are under no obligation to
share your personal life with your ex. While you may be used to
sharing every deep, dark secret with this person, things are different
now that you're divorced. Keep your personal experiences to yourself and
deflect any inquiries with short and concise answers.
3) Reduce the amount of texting and e-mailing you engage in with your ex. While regular contact might be necessary while dealing with legal issues or making arrangements for the children, brief phone conversations are
less intimate and there is no opportunity for misunderstanding or
4) Be careful when speaking to mutual friends.
Some of these friends may play both sides after the divorce. Be
aware that anything you disclose has the potential to get back to your ex. You can make it clear to your friends that everything is to be
kept confidential, but the best security will come from not sharing
any information that you would not ultimately want your ex to know.
||Andra Brosh, Ph.D., and Allison Pescosolido, MA, are the leading divorce-recovery experts in Los Angeles. Founders of "Divorce Detox," a proven program guaranteed to speed recovery through the divorce transition, Andra and Allison are certified grief-recovery experts, and both hold advanced degrees in the field of psychology. Visit www.divorcedetox.com to learn more about their programs and cutting-edge work.