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Best Excuses for Turning Down Leftovers

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Guest blogger Jenny: It's almost universal: the "please take some leftovers -- I insist!" guilt trip given after a Thanksgiving meal.

women with food

For years, you have been saying "yes," "sure," "uh, OK ...," despite your best attempt to walk away empty-handed. But now you just can't take it anymore. You don't want anything to do with Aunt Susie's JELL-O mold after tonight, and you certainly don't want to have to think about yams with marshmallows again until next year. (Actually, you do want to think about yams with marshmallows again, but if you have any plans of jamming your a** into that hot New Year's cocktail dress, then you probably shouldn't.

The problem is, no one's going to buy your "The diet starts tomorrow" or "Oh my gosh, thaaaaaaaanks, but I already ate sooo much Brussels sprout pie, I couldn't possibly take any home" lines. Nope, you've gotta come up with something new. Here are some excuses that I have come up with for turning down leftovers. (Note: Those of you coming to my house should not even think about uttering these!)

1) "I can't have sex knowing there are leftovers in the fridge. It distracts me."

2) "Thanks, but Thanksgiving is actually the only day I really allow myself to indulge on Tofurkey."

3) "I'm mentally allergic to Tupperware."

4) "I already have leftovers from last year growing mold so rapidly I could create my own vat of penicillin."

5) "What the hell is 'turducken?'"

Got any excuses of your own? Tell us in our momlogic community!

next: Ten Thanksgiving Record Breakers
4 comments so far | Post a comment now
???? November 25, 2010, 6:48 AM

How about leftover turkey makes me fart!

Joan November 25, 2010, 7:40 PM

???? - that’s a good one!

Also, WTF IS a turducken????????? I saw someone on facebook post something about that and I was just like, what????

Mary December 7, 2010, 5:40 PM

You may have gotten the answer already but a turducken is a turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken.

Ten Tees January 9, 2011, 11:42 AM

Good post. Enjoyable to read. There is a point to offer about funny t-shirts.

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