Jessica Katz: So the other day, my husband mentioned the idea of moving to a suburb. I said I
didn't want to live in suburbia. He looked at me and said, "I don't know why you
think you're so Cosmo -- you're a mom now." It was true: I barely could stay up
past 7:30 PM.
I told him how I used to go out to fancy dinners every night -- when I was
single. I would do cultural things and go to parties. But he reminded me that
all I do now is baby group, music class and the occasional playdate. He also
reminded me I hadn't left the house all day.
It then occurred to me that we hadn't been invited to any adult Halloween
parties this year.
My daughter (who had been invited to two) has more of a
social life than I do. I asked him, "Is it because we have a kid? Could we get
a babysitter?" People stopped calling as much when we had our daughter; our
invites slowly dried up.
He told me to face the fact that I was a mom and I was really good at it.
as much as I love my daughter, I miss my "cool" life. I told my husband, "Well, I would
be cool if we had a full-time nanny and I could go out every night and rest
during the day." But then it occurred to me that if I did that, I would not be taking
care of my baby. I wouldn't be the mom I wanted to be.
I am wistful for the days when I wore short skirts and had wine with dinner.
When I ate past 6 PM and always had a manicure. But I adore my daughter, too. I've decided I want to be Heidi Klum
in my next life. Somehow, she has it all -- and
looks really good doing it.
Experts say it is perfectly normal to mourn your old life. A baby is a huge
change. And your relationships change too -- with friends, family and even your
spouse. You have to realize you can have it all, just not at the same time.
And when I was partying the night away back when I was cool, I was envious of
everyone I knew with a baby and a husband. The grass is always a shade greener
where you are not.